Big Dick Energy

Big Dick Energy. It’s a whole mood right now. Charging through life splaying my testicular prowess across unsuspecting observers. Y’all trying to hate on my persona for working hard and getting after it? You can catch this mushroom stamp straight across your forehead. I’m done apologizing for being strong. Not just physically; I mean having a strong personality. Men are admired for such while women are labeled as frigid and cold hearted bitches. Or apparently my brashness and tough exterior make me unceremoniously gay, and while I would dare anyone to try and make me feel inferior if I was, I hate to break it to you, but I’m straighter than blonde Becky’s hair. I’ve been tiny my whole life, so if anyone wants to make snarky remarks about having big muscles, I just want to say thank you, because I still feel small every single day. I’ve worked hard for every ounce of strength that I possess so if people recognize that and deem it masculine than all that means is I am exceeding even my own expectations. I don’t know why being called a dude is such an insult because I am taking it all in stride and slanging this schlong to all who challenge me.

When you’re out here packing all this heat, why be concerned over the opinions of negative people around you? What are they lacking in their own life that they are trying to make up for? So what if I get blocked on social media or shunned in person or have whispered rude remarks said behind my back. It’s all toxic and just like Viagra, I am rising to the occasion every single time. Keep your chin up and always stand erect and there isn’t a soul out there who can make you falter. I’ll never understand the people out there who seek pleasure out of putting others down. It’s crazy how consumed society is with anti-bullying and embracing camaraderie for school aged children but you got all these bullying adults out here with acid tongues and detrimental personalities. And yeah I know I took up a sport where the literal goal is violence, but I never resort to personal attacks nor do I waste precious time trying to hurt other people’s feelings. To be honest, the mats do a much better job of hurting my feelings than any person would ever be capable of anyways. I have learned that I will never be good enough for some people and all that means is that those ain’t my people.

I work hard and bust my ass to try and accomplish all my goals, succeed in life, positively impact others, and set good examples. It absolutely blows my mind when I see people, especially parents, setting such horrible examples with either trash talking or bullying behaviors. Is that what you want your children to see and perhaps emulate? I’ve definitely competed against some women who clearly didn’t mind for their children to witness them calling me every name in the book and insulting everything from my appearance to my life. Looks like it’s just time to hang out with my wang out and let the naysayers bounce off of me quicker than spermicidal lubricant. Whenever someone has to resort to personal attacks in an argument or a fight, in my mind, they have already lost. Life is about so much more than gorgeous looks or perfect features. So if my cauliflower ears have me resembling Sloth from the Goonies, then I will embrace that wholeheartedly and wear that comparison like a suit of armor. Also, what a coincidence that in that particular movie, they are searching for the treasure from one-eyed Willie and this whole blog post is chock full of penis references. I guess that’s not the only gold one-eyed Willie can produce. Goonies never say die!

I’m going to do all I can in my power to try and remain as positive as possible and help spread those effervescently robust feelings to those around me. I’m helicoptering these hips like propellers of gratitude all around and leaving a lasting imprint (dick print) on those around me. Life is just too short to skate on by without trying to positively impact the world, and if I got to rock out with my cock out to do it then so be it. I’d rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not and I hope I am doing a good enough job of not being a total Richard and that even when I’m at my grumpiest during the tail end of a weight cut, people recognize that my heart is still in the right place. While at the turn of the previous century I may have been stoned to death for such expressive language and superfluous references to the male genitalia, in this day and age of freedom of speech I am hear to say it loud and proud that no matter what irrelevant people do or say about me, this whole mood of big dick energy is here for the long haul. And if this entire post makes you sick, we can take your temperature with that Grade A all beef thermometer and hit you with a dose of penis-cillin and cure all your maladies and ill woes.

They say everyone loves an Oscar Meyer Weiner, well it’s time to love a Wolf Queen Weiner and show some support as I step back into the cage this Saturday. If you can’t be in Florida in person, you can stream the fights on UFC Fight Pass. We are going in there rock hard and ready to rumble team and as always, looking to lay on a good pounding. I hope my former English teachers read this blog and see that their years of writing principles and trying to instill eloquent vernacular into my speech did not go to waste. Nothing provides me a greater release than ejaculating my words all over these posts and allowing the public to read my innermost thoughts and dialogue. It makes me happy to finish early and here’s hoping we make quick work of it, but either way, I promise to provide you all with a good show. I know Freud is probably rolling over in his grave with the excessive amount of innuendos and euphemisms laced throughout this entire post, but hey, that’s just me baby. Remember, when people resort to insults and name calling, the only thing getting stroked out here is egos and this dick is ready to make its grand debut and be heard. Like a middle school boy in the throes of puberty, I just can’t be hidden or concealed. The world will see me and there exists no book large enough to hide this girth.