I worked so hard growing up never to stand out. I wanted to blend right in so I wouldn’t be differentiated and then subjected to scrutiny and ridicule. Never alone, but always amongst others where I could camouflage myself in the crowd. Early on in childhood, I pushed hard to excel and stand out. Then, […]
Read moreI’m going to deviate a bit from my normal Jiu Jitsu spiel and woah’s to talk about something a little bit more personal, truly exposing my vulnerability on this one. I’ve run into a bit of an issue lately when it comes to my mental health and looming anxiety. I think it stems a bit […]
Read moreWhat a whirlwind the entirety of the last week has been. Another birthday, another year older, another weekend filled with busy obligations and Jiu Jitsu events. I’ve been struggling (nay, been devastated) coming to terms with the reflection I see in the mirror lately. My face just feels different, in a way that I don’t […]
Read moreLately, I have been feeling like I have been battling the constant turmoil of an existential crisis. I keep hearing all of these things about manifesting positive energy and goals into the universe, but I am having such trouble believing that there is a higher power or spiritual influences that can alter our paths and […]
Read moreIt’s 2023, a new year, time to leave all the bullshit behind in the past. I can guarantee that every woman (and perhaps some men) reading this blog can relate to their story of a fake ass friend, whether from their days of adolescence, to through the teenage years, and even now in adulthood. Not […]
Read moreMove over Pinocchio, there is only one character in the story of my life working hard to become a real boy, and it ain’t some wooden ragamuffin of a puppet, so tell Gepetto to take several seats. The more you publicly put yourself out there in the world, the more you open yourself out there […]
Read moreThey say in life that sometimes you gotta stop and smell the roses, but I’m in the middle of fight camp wondering how I’ll have time to stop and smell anything when all I can smell is the scent of my own sweat oozing out of my pores as I push my body to its […]
Read moreWhat do I see when I look in the mirror? Am I happy with the woman staring back at me? Sometimes, but in different ways than I did when I was younger, and never content because I always strive to be better and do better. See, when I was younger I was incredibly self-conscious about […]
Read moreI am she who fights in front. Neither watching from the back nor dictating how to lead from afar, but thrusting myself to the front lines of the challenges I face and determined to do all that I can to prepare myself for the battles to come. After all, I could never request favors of […]
Read moreIt’s hard not to feel like trash constantly in a sport that challenges every facet of your being. Let alone feeling like fucking garbage in your day to day life when inevitably, something doesn’t go according to plan or your mental health is taking a hit due to personal reasons. A lot of times, especially […]
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