We either get discouraged by our setbacks, or we use them as the fuel to help ignite us further into working harder to accomplish the goals we set for ourselves. I refuse to call the recent fight loss I had a failure; sure it stings and I cried a bit that night upset at what I perceived to be the areas in which I came up short. However, I succeeded in a strong weight cut, a grueling fight camp, never relenting, and walking away injury free and ready to get back in the gym immediately and start training hard again to work on all aspects of my fight game. In fact, the only reason I took 2 full days off before returning to my training was due to the thousands of flight cancelations across the country that delayed us over 24 hours in the airport. My fight gear is still in an entirely different state, but hopefully it will make its way back to me soon. I can’t believe I am starting my professional career off in a deficit when I had a completely different start to my amateur career, but this only makes me want to work harder to turn it all around for not only myself, but the amount of people doubting what I can accomplish.
I think the hardest thing about all of this is knowing that I am better than what I showed in the cage both times I fought as a pro (except for the Invicta exhibition bout). I am a finisher, and in both of my professional fights I left it up to the judges where the tides were not in my favor. I didn’t do things in the octagon that I always absolutely annihilate in my training and that, to me, is the most disappointing thing of all. I know I set out there to crush it, and I have been suffering a slight hesitation and a few mental blocks in my actions. Therefore, it is time to address this issue and utilize every ounce of my skillset to conquer this ineptitude. I am not an easy opponent, and my next fight will be a vicious uprising of epic proportions.
It’s crazy how much I enjoy what I do and the love I have for such a mentally taxing and physically exhausting sport. There are no shortcuts when it comes to this sport. No cheating on diets, no lack of sacrifices, no forgoing other options in lieu of my training. Yet I absolutely enjoy every single minute of soaking it all in and the literal blood, sweat, and tears it takes to come to fruition. I love adhering to a strict schedule and being meticulously organized in everything I do. I am proud of the 20 lbs I shed to be at peak performance and the hours I spend working on cardio, strength, and fitness and making sure to be the first in the gym as well as the last one to leave the mats in the evening. From the moment I wake up in the mornings and take that first deep breath is the moment I am ready to work.
Rather than look at this like a step backward in my career, I instead choose to view it as another opportunity to showcase that I am capable of overcoming hardships and perseverance. Everyone likes to root for the underdog and every big movie has the main character learning to conquer hardships and challenges in order to one day become the hero they were always destined to be. A Cinderella story if you will, except instead of needing a Prince Charming, I emerged a Wolf Queen, and as we all know, the Queen is always the most powerful piece on the chessboard. They may have put me in check, but my story isn’t over until I declare a Checkmate, and if I have to sacrifice a couple pawns in battle in order to win the war, so be it.
Fall down 9 times, stand up 10, and keep marching forward until the deed is done. This is not the career path for the faint of heart, or the weak-willed individuals looking to sample an ounce of glory. The majority of this sport is not glamorous. Only my coaches and my very closest teammates have seen sneak peeks into the truly ugly side and grittiness of it all. Which is probably why the opinions of everyone else simply glide off my back. What I care about is the instruction from my team and coaches and the positive impact I can have on the lives of others. Until then, I will keep trying to channel my inner Bobby Fischer and work until I triumph over every last square on that chessboard.
