Putting the Dick in Addiction

Demons exist within all of us, that little voice in the back of our heads spewing hateful and negative messages about how lackluster and subpar we are. That we aren’t good enough, life is too hard, we have too many obstacles inhibiting our growth and so on and so forth. Many people drowning under heaps of doubt and misfortune will begin to turn to destructive behaviors, almost as if subconsciously punishing ourselves because we feel as if we don’t deserve to be happy for all of the good that the world has to offer. Whether these destructive behaviors are actual substances we abuse, destructive behaviors, or just plain old apathy, all of the aforementioned topics are detrimental to us as a whole. Sure, there are an amplitude of things in life that can keep us down, but whether we choose to stay down is up to us and how we process any of life’s grievances or shortcomings is our responsibility. The environment in which we immerse ourselves is key to whether or not we succumb to these addictions or if we drive past them. Toxicity is the number one cause of failure in this field in my personal opinion, and we find ourselves in these toxic environments often times out of habit and pure convenience. Sometimes, it is the group we grew up with for most of our lives, the clique we find ourselves in now, or even our own family members. It can be exceptionally difficult to sever these ties, especially amongst our own blood, but there is a time where we must be selfish and put our health, happiness, and mental clarity above others wants.

I’m here to say that it can be so unfair that others have suffered or maybe are no longer here with us or have endured a difficult fate, but at what point do we allow ourselves to thrive and find joy in this life without the guilt of doing better than those we care about weighing us down. Is it fair to punish ourselves indefinitely because tragedy struck? And even if we are subconsciously inhibiting our own happiness, how do we recognize that we are standing in the way of our own progression in life out of fear and uncertainty? Some of us are so busy always trying to help others due to having an empathetic personality, that we begin to sacrifice our own sanity and joy. You can not pour from an empty cup, and we all deserve to be kinder to ourselves to allow us to recharge and become rejuvenated in this life. We may fall victim to addictive behaviors, but it is never too late to change. However, it is important for us to recognize the harmful traits and consequences these actions may cause and we need to be determined to make a change. If we ignore our internal cries for happiness and solace then we do nothing but hurt ourselves and probably those who love and care for us as well. It is always okay to not be okay and it takes courage and bravery to ask for help. But just like the phoenix we can be reborn from the ashes of what ever infernal flame tries to consume us, because no matter how hot the fire, we can always rise again.

Addiction can be such a slippery slope. It all starts with one bad decision used as a coping mechanism and then the human mind equates that temporary fix as a permanent solution. Numbing the pain temporarily will only make the hurt that much stronger when everything wears off, whether it be medically induced substances or destructive distracting behaviors. Allowing ourselves to shutdown and escape the real world by taking something to quiet our mind, quell the sadness, or disorient us into forgetting why we are in pain is the most dangerous thing we can do, because then we subconsciously link the calm comatose effect with “feeling better”. Forgetting why you are hurting by being fucked up off of alcohol, benzos, opioids, or barbiturates is not even remotely close to fixing the root issue and trying to get better. I’m not a fan of slapping a bandaid on a bullet wound and calling it a day, but you better believe I will find the best means of suturing up that shit to the best of my ability until all that’s left is a faded scar of a recovered injury. Yes, the once pained spot will leave its mark as a constant reminder of the hurt that it caused, but with time it will fade to a distant memory and the once deep abrasion will have the skin mended in its place to prove the resiliency of the healing process. And whether you need counseling, therapy, an immersive and healthy hobby, medication, or any other beneficial outlet to help heal, then so be it. But whatever you do, do not succumb to the treacherous downfall addiction can present.

We tend to emulate our surroundings and are heavily influenced by the people we are with day in and day out. It is why so many can’t escape the cycle of toxic behaviors and negative coping mechanisms. If your clique, whether it be friends or family, aren’t contributing to your positivity and overall healthy well-being, it’s time to make the difficult decision to cut ties with all of them. These type of people will always hold you back, and while there is a level of comfort and familiarity by being around the same people, they are not contributing to your success, but instead, leading you right off the edge to your downfall. These type of people will forever blame their shitty life circumstances on situations and dilemmas out of their control and accept zero responsibility for the poor choices in their life. They are lazy bottom feeders who envy those willing to work hard to achieve success and will harbor resentment and animosity for anyone who dares to strive hard and do better than them in life. As for me, I cheer for people to succeed. Nothing in life makes me happier than watching people defy the odds and persevere, but good things do not come to those who wait, it comes to those who get off their asses and work hard for it. It’s entirely way too easy to never try, because should you fail, it comes as less of a harsh blow since no effort was applied. You can allocate your mediocrity and lackluster life to being dealt a crappy hand and being down on your luck. I don’t believe in luck. I believe in taking whatever hand I was dealt and learning to play those cards to the best of my fucking ability. Sure, there are some gambles I may lose, but if I never fucking try, I won’t ever know. My circle is small, but I only surround myself with the go-getters and ambitious and positive do-gooders of the world. The lazy pieces of shit who would rather leech off of society like an ocean dwelling bottom feeder can kiss my atom weight ass all the way back to their miserable lives.

If you find yourself struggling, please reach out. Ask for help from those you trust and those who will steer you in the right direction. Anyone who will bombard you with substances to dull your pain is not someone you need in your life as they 100% do not have your best interests at heart. Whether it be a blood relative or a close friend, they are a fucking cancer to society who will do nothing but slowly drain you of everything that makes you whole and makes you happy. The downward spiral towards addiction and destructive behaviors will lead you to a life of unfulfilled misery and mediocrity. Addiction is a dick; hard, unsolicited, and often inconvenient. But it is never too late to make a change and begin a path of greatness instead. Sure, it’s difficult to crawl out of the trenches of despair and transform your lifestyle. But do you really want to be looking back 30 years from now without ever having accomplished much because you were too afraid to try or it was too hard to get off of your ass and start anew!? The whole “woe is me” mantra is so played out. We all have a thousand reasons in life to stay down, but all it takes is that one ounce of determination to kick those reasons in the fucking taint and do it anyway. Those toxic people are doing nothing but keeping you down and limiting your potential. It does not look bad or make you weak to admit when you need help, but it takes strength to realize your shortcomings and I find it admirable when someone can accept that they are overwhelmed and needs assistance to kick whatever feeling or habit they are currently entangled with. Don’t be another leech on society, you are so much better than that. And whenever you start thinking it is easier to give in to anything that will make you forget, don’t relent. Fight back against those demons and be the fucking phoenix waiting to be reborn from the dust.