I am always trying to make sure that I am constantly growing and evolving as a person (she says from all of 5 foot tall, but I mean this in the metaphorical sense and not the physical one). I am not the same person I was 5 years ago, one year ago, or even 6 months ago. The ability to adapt to change and assimilate with our surroundings helps cultivate the type of person we aim to be. Someone who fails at something or comes out on the losing side of a competition is only truly a failure if they don’t learn and grow from their past experiences. Whether it be coming up short in an exam, losing a fight, or failing in a marriage. Sometimes things fall apart so greater things can come together. Just because one door closes, does not mean you can’t force your way through. A wall didn’t stop the Kool-Aid man from bursting through barriers and if you think I’m going to let a talking bowl of fruit punch be more resilient than me, you have got another thing coming. When it comes to snafus, if it happens once, it is a mistake and a lesson learned. If it happens twice, it is because you are stagnant and acceptant of mediocrity. Suck the marrow out of life, you deserve more.
Being able to change and learn new things is a mark of maturity and contribution to society and yourself. Years ago I swore I would never have children or be with someone who did. Now, my significant other’s two children are the two single most important people in my life and I would do absolutely anything for them. In my Miami days, I thought I’d be an alcohol fueled party animal for decades to come. Now I am up at 5:30 am, either for training or teaching a BJJ class or to take the kids to school. I thought my diet would forever consist of late night nachos and midnight pizza deliveries. Now, I enjoy cooking 24/7 and prep all of our meals in advance based on dietary and lifestyle needs and take pride in my nutritional supplementation. Basically, what I am saying is that life doesn’t deal in absolutes. Being resolute in who you are as a person does not mean you can’t be open to change. I think one of the greatest assets we can possess is learning how to expand our horizons as we age. What may seem like an unwavering blockade of metal might just need to come under some intense fiery heat before it becomes malleable and can render its shape.
Remember in the 90s when skinny, penciled on eyebrows were “in”? I was endlessly mocked for my Groucho Marx caterpillar brows (pretty sure some upperclassmen in high school even made a Myspace page mocking my luxurious face decor. Kinda wonder how their eyebrows held up all these years later. Ha). Now, these bad boys are the envy of eyebrow adorations everywhere. Things change. There was a time when Dana White said he would never have females fight for him in the UFC and now they draw in a large crowd, thank you very much. Hell, after my last relationship I solemnly vowed to myself to stay away from such a commitment ever again and then Old Man Schell came around and swept me off of my feet (quite literally thanks to an ippon a la O Uchi Gari). I want you to reflect on the person you were a few years ago and discover all of the fascinating ways in which you have changed as well. I remember first starting Jiu Jitsu and thinking triangle and d’arce chokes would never be my thing due to my short stature and small size, and they were literally my top submissions last year propelling me to multiple gold medals. The absolute only thing guaranteed in life is death, so therefore I am choosing a much more open mindset in regards to anything and everything that may occur.
Your comfort zone will keep you safe, but you will never grow. Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds and it is in the times of true conflict and perseverance that we become greater. Whether it means being a better person, parent, partner, employee, or athlete etc., we will inevitably rise above whatever threatens to swallow us whole. Our lives are novels in which the ending to every chapter is unwritten until we live it. And oy vey, I apologize if I sound like a rambling fortune cookie as you read this, but I simply can not express enough how my ability to adapt and change has propelled my growth into someone I can genuinely be proud of. Change is inevitable but growth is optional, and while both can be rather painful, there is absolutely nothing as painful as being stuck somewhere you don’t belong. I honestly believe that apathy is one of the most detrimental things that can happen to our society and therefore I will never stop trying to expand my horizons. It is good to be determined in your pursuits and your future, but it is downright dangerous to believe your path is set in stone and non-relinquishing in diversity.
Be a fucking cockroach. No matter what happens to the environment, a cockroach will find a way to survive and persevere. Hell, they can even live for upwards of a week without their head attached to their body (or thorax or whatever it’s called for all of you entomologists out there). Some of us have one thing go wrong for us on a Monday and therefore cancel the week in its entirety. Change can be good. Anyone who has ever made an impact in history did it because of adaptability and growth. As many things as I want to accomplish in this life, I think my biggest goal is to have a positive impact on people and be someone worth emulating. Not for any selfish reasons, but because I want to leave the world a better place just for the simple fact that I existed in it. Despite whatever hardships I face, I will work my hardest to grow and expand my horizons from whatever it is trying to set up roadblocks in my way. Give it your all, grow, change, and grow again, never settling in one position for too long. I may not be a giant talking bowl of fruit punch knocking down walls, but I’m a tiny rambling wolf queen ready to punch through barriers.
