I am she who fights in front. Neither watching from the back nor dictating how to lead from afar, but thrusting myself to the front lines of the challenges I face and determined to do all that I can to prepare myself for the battles to come. After all, I could never request favors of others to do for me what I am not willing to attempt with all of my effort to undertake myself. Although, I won’t lie, the occasional helping hand and assistance is quite wonderful. There are many things in life that can only be done firsthand, learning through experience, trial and errors, and a ton of hard work. Many educational experiences are done so by learning through action, and depriving myself of these opportunities to embrace the hard work and challenges needed to propel myself to the next level would be doing the entirety of my life a disservice. To quote the Wicked Witch of the West Elphaba, via Idina Menzel, “I’m through accepting limits, cuz someone says they’re so. Some things I can not change, but ’til I try, I’ll never know.” I am she who defies gravity.
It’s funny, how when I get referred to by my full government, (aka ‘Samantha’ when most just refer to me as ‘Sam’), my initial thoughts are “Samantha!? Whomst is she!?” But when it comes to the accolades documented for posterity purposes, that is how I will be listed and remembered long after I am gone. But please, I still prefer the shortened version in my day to day life. I do hope that when I am remembered and reminisced about, I will be thought of as the reliable individual who was willing to be the first one to accept and embrace a challenge, to be the last one leaving the mats, to be the hardest worker in the room, the one that others could rely on to lead by example and stay true to their word, and the person who despite all that occurred in this life, dared to always give it their all. I am human, and sometimes I have hard days where I just don’t feel like showing up mentally or physically, but great things aren’t accomplished by those who sit silently on the sidelines to observe those with more courage and bravery achieve what was thought to be impossible. I am she who dares to risk comfort in lieu of opportunities to be great.
One of the hardest things we can do as humans, is turn an internal eye into observing our own faults and shortcomings, and face the hurdles that threaten to attempt to keep us from excelling. Instead of focusing on what we can do to combat these excuses, it is often much easier to cut someone down for the greatness and successes they achieve. A competitor might look at someone and think “Yeah, well sure. If I had as much time to devote to training as that person, I, too, would be a world champion.” Or even “Well, if I was built like so-and-so, of course it would be easy for me to win all of the time.” The problem with internalizing these thoughts is that we are not living that other person’s life, and by nullifying all their achievements by categorizing them into a conveniently tiny little box, we are excusing all of the hard work, sacrifice, and dedication it took for them to achieve such things. Don’t get me wrong, there are some people who are dealt a better hand in life than others, but it is what they choose to do with that hand that granted them all of their success. For example, it’s no secret that Kim Kardashian was born very privileged. But you are a fool if you don’t think she has done an incredible amount and worked relatively hard to achieve all that she has. Give 10,000 people the same life she was brought up in, and I doubt 1 out of those 10,000 would have turned their good fortune into the empire she has. I am she who uses hard work and opportunity to capitalize in the moment.
We are lucky to be surrounded by a multitude of people we can draw inspiration and motivation from. Even from people we don’t even know, but are introduced to do by way of podcasts, books, and documentaries. I am so inspired by people like David Goggins and Jocko Willink and even the people I watch on the show ‘I Survived’ (all about those who found themselves in dire and life-threatening moment of danger and adversity and defied the odds to survive). A lot of people are very limited in their scope of views, and only see the end result of others, but not the steps it took them to reach there. No one sees the tears behind closed doors, the self-doubt creeping in, the personal matters that arise that would be easy to throw in the towel because too much is getting in the way of your goals and aspirations. Sure, you have guidance and coaches, but there is no one who is going to hold your hand every single second and step of the way to force you to adhere to the early morning alarms, the late nights, the strict nutritional intake, the allotment for rest and recovery, and so on an so forth. It is ultimately up to you and the choices rest solely on your back. I am she who takes ownership for my position and circumstances in this life.
I love the hard work, because the hard work yields results. Right now, I wake up and look in the mirror (and ignore my bed head and groggy face) and I see the physique of someone who is busting their booty and sticking steadfast to a nutrition plan and being able to see the fruits of my labour with my own eyes. I am able to feel the hard work I am putting in manifesting into not just a strong and ready body, but mentally, as a person who has confidence in the preparation done to leave no stone unturned. There can be no ‘what-ifs’ surrounding the realms of which I am culpable, because everything that is in my control has been done and anything outside of my control are external and mitigating factors I would be unable to dictate regardless. The things I can control have been prepared and accounted for and I am ready. I lead by example and follow with loyalty. I am there to support my friends and encourage my students. I am willing to do whatever it takes to prove to myself that I can do so much more than I had ever even dreamed possible. I am she who rises above those who ever doubted her capabilities and she who takes on challenge after challenge to stave off the burden for others to bear. I am she who never cowers to fear or relinquishes to self-doubt, but she, who no matter how many times she is burned, rises from the ashes of despair to conquer her dreams. I am she who others can put their faith behind because she gets shit done. I am she, who even when she loses, she wins. I am she who jumps higher, runs faster, works harder, and never quits. I am she who fights in front.
