Look For the Helpers

What is going on in the world lately? More division, more ravaging of lands, more bloodshed, more hate, more sadness. I’m trying to remember the words of Mister Rogers in these times of bleak despair, and that is to “look for the helpers.” Monday, November 13th was ‘World Kindness Day,’ and the world could sure use more of it these days. Sometimes I have these lofty aspirations of wanting to change the world, and to do something really good and beneficial for people. But then I am punted straight back to reality by remembering that I am only human, and it’s a hard and intimidating task to try and take on. But I know that I can start with at least one person, and even though I may not ever change the world, I can change the world for someone. No matter how many terrible things this world has to offer, there will always be people that exist that do their best to fight the good fight, and that try to do good. But if you’re going to scrutinize and shun everything that you see, you will miss all of the examples of shining light in the process.

My algorithm is inundated with misinformed hatred, and people who feel compelled to project their uneducated opinions about the next hot topic in the hopes of joining what is deemed popular by their peer group. I refuse to interact with them in the hopes that the negative videos quell down some. This makes it even harder to express your opinion when there are hordes of people trying to shout you down and drown you out, as the loudest doesn’t necessarily represent the majority, but the obnoxious abrasiveness can make it seem like the world is in agreement. Depending on what side of an algorithm you fall on, you may only ever be exposed to one side or the other, and it can seem like a very bleak and dreary world. The media, particularly social media, is laden with bias, and it can make things seem to be a way in which they are not. If the only news you consume is from one source, which usually leans on one side of the spectrum, then you are severely limiting your education and understanding of the happenstances going on in the world.

I will never contribute to a negative output in the atmosphere if I can help it. While yes, I may inadvertently make mistakes or hurt others feelings, I will always do my best to try and rectify those situations and own up to my faults. I don’t want to be the reason that someone is upset and I also don’t want to contribute to false narratives because I am so resolute in my opinion that I refuse to hear other’s viewpoints and take in all of the realities of a situations. As my husband has always said: facts, not feelings. It can be somewhat humiliating to realize you were wrong about something, and instead of admitting this and changing stances, you simple double down on your wrongness, hoping your boisterous shouts of defiance drown out the truth. Real growth is being able to become malleable over time when presented with new facts and information rather than thinking you are always in the right. It’s certainly rough on the ego, but I have definitely done 180’s on stuff I had been ignorant on in the past. Thinking you are never wrong is more dangerous than almost any other idea.

So I try to consume happy news stories and surround myself with radiant people. I would rather have 4 quarters in my life that make up a whole dollar, than 100 pennies, and I am extremely lucky to know amazing people who fulfill all of those emotions. These are the helpers I look for in my life, people I can turn to in times of need and rely on to help lift me up when I am down. And I would be there in a heartbeat for them as well without a second thought or requiring anything else in return. I am also incredibly fortunate to have been born a triplet, and know that I can rely on my brother’s for absolutely anything in life. I always knew good people existed in this world specifically because I saw the way my brothers interacted with others, and I knew that there just had to be more people in the world with hearts as pure as them. They have definitely inspired me to be a more patient, better, and loving individual.

I have so many “helpers” in my life that I truly feel blessed. Fortunately, because I interact with so many joyous, positive, and uplifting videos in my social media feeds, that my algorithm tends to be filled with a lot more happy videos rather than the latter. It’s especially beneficial to my mental health, as I remember when everything was locked down in 2020 and all I would see was negative stories and attacks on one another, and it really had me start spiraling down a deep and depressive road. I’m glad I realized early on how the things my mind consumes and the people I surround myself with play a huge part in my overall happiness. I have the best group of supportive women in my life, and so many of them to train with at my own gym plus ones from surrounding gyms that I get to interact with. Even on the days where things might happen that get me down, I know who I can turn to and rely on for a little boost of oxytocin. And most importantly, I understand that I when things get overwhelmingly negative on my timelines, I can always turn off my phone, and instead, seek out the helpers of the world. No matter how much things get set ablaze in a disastrous inferno, there will always be someone who exists who will run in with the hose.