1% Better

There’s a common saying in Jiu Jitsu, that every day we strive to be 1% better. Do you know how difficult and pretty much impossible it is to be a whole ass percentage better than you were the previous day as far as continuity on that path goes? That’s because progress isn’t linear, but instead, full of high peaks, plummeting valleys, and endless plateaus. No matter what your end goal in life is, whether it’s related to physical fitness, Jiu Jitsu, your family, or your occupation, it is statistically impossible to continuously be one percent better every single day. Some days, you will backslide. Some days, you will be stuck in place, seemingly going nowhere fast. However, there is always some aspect of you that is improving, no matter how long it is taking to achieve the desired results. So, while I know I may not be improving on that scale of one percent daily, statistically some part of me is better than it was yesterday simply for the amount of effort and perseverance I continue to push through. Even if it is an infinitesimally small fraction of an amount, there is that itty bitty part of me that has improved, whether in mind, emotional state, physical state, body, skill, or spirit, I will always find something that has climbed in the right direction.

There are a lot of factors that effect how I feel, but I can always choose to look for the bright side and positivity of things. We all have bad things happen to us, and sometimes, it can be downright heartbreaking and near impossible to see what could possibly benefit us from these situations. I wrote a blog post the other week about losing a friendship that shattered my heart. But now, I look at it in a good way. No longer do I leave the gym sad because there was an exclusionary aspect and now the toxicity is gone meaning I’m surrounded by people who do truly care about me rather than it all being a facade. Years ago, I was cheated on and then almost shot by my ex-boyfriend. Almost immediately after I lost my job, my home, and tore 5 ligaments in my knee requiring a total reconstruction surgery. But this very path actually led me to my now-husband, and we grew closer as he nursed me back to health. If I had spent time dwelling on how badly I felt, I never would have been able to see the opportunities that were presented right at my door.

There are days where not only do I leave the mats feeling utterly defeated, but I actually succumb to a good ol’ shower cry as all my exasperated emotions from the week or the day flood out of my body directly down the drain. There is absolutely no way I am a whole ass percentage better than I am the day before, but maybe it is something much smaller that improved by the teeniest of tiniest hairlines of a fraction better. Sometimes it may even be as simple as once I emerge from the shower, purged of my tears, I am no longer sad. Previously, it would feel like no matter how much I cried or how many tears I had shed, the wallowing in self-pity for such a dismal performance would linger with me for hours. Even though I knew that my tears weren’t fixing anything, I would continue to cry. Now, they are much more a little cathartic release that once experienced, have healed my soul, albeit temporarily. So yeah, it may seem weak to admit or stupid to be proud of, but reigning in my sad emotions and gaining more control over my feelings has been something I take immense pride in improving my “one percent” on.

There were days where I would never ever have imagined accomplishing the things I am able to do on the mats or in the cage today. Sweeps used to seem so elusive. Passing the guard seemed like an extraordinary feat. Tapping out a larger man seemed like a far away and unattainable feat. To tell you that these are now all things I do frequently and on the regular would have blown the mind of the tiny white belt version of myself who started this sport all those years ago. The time, the blood, the sweat, and yes, the tears, have all cultivated micro improvements over the years, and led me to be the athlete, competitor, student, fighter, and instructor that I am now. Every tiny grain of sand on the beach by itself seems insignificant, but all together, would form the grandest of sand castles, and some, even a whole entire island.

Don’t be discouraged if you’re not making leaps and bounds of progress in whatever task or goal you are choosing to pursue. I promise, even on the days that don’t feel like it, you are improving exponentially. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was your Jiu Jitsu. And then, once you reach black belt, you get to start all over again, as some of these black belts have been black belts longer than you have even trained Jiu Jitsu. My head professor, who just received his coral belt this past weekend, even says he is always learning and improving. It’s awe-inspiring to hear people at the highest level talk about the improvements they are able to make, and inspires me to continue to embrace the tiny, almost imperceptible improvements I am guaranteed to make every day simply by showing up and being present. I am definitely improving as a human being and working hard to be better for others too. One small step for this (wo)man, one giant BDE leap for humankind.