There is no one alive out there who is keeping a track record of our successes and our failures and detailing every step in our journeys. Even our most loathsome “enemy” isn’t tallying all that we do, from our greatest opponent and adversary to what may very well be just a bitter ex dating partner. The overwhelming majority views our losses as fleeting and a blip in the radar. The second we come out on top in something is the very moment all previous slip-ups are forgotten. As my professor constantly states, no one is keeping track of your losses except you. So many times we are our own biggest critics, and I’m just here to say that perhaps we should simply start being our own biggest cheerleader instead.
Now, this isn’t to say that we should have an inflated ego and superficially exaggerated sense of self worth. But we also don’t need to constantly point out every last little mistake that accrues or cause us heartache. No one alive is perfect, so why do we expect that out of ourselves and then get overwhelmed when we inevitably fall short? There is absolutely no way we can live up to such insurmountable expectations and never falter, so the sooner we accept that fate, the happier we will be.
Every time that I have fought or competed and lost, I replay those scenarios over and over until they haunt me. Wondering what I could have done differently and scrutinizing and analyzing every single mistake. And the crazy thing is, whenever people at tournaments and competitions come and talk to me, they always assume I came out victorious and are shocked if that’s not the case. They say things like I always win, which is entirely false and inaccurate. Everyone just completely forgets about the losses when the wins start piling up.
The trick is to play the game of odds. The more your fight and compete, the more chances you have to win. And obviously the more that you compete, the better you will undoubtedly get from constantly pushing yourself and learning where the gaps in your game are in order to fix them. I’ve never been discouraged for long when I fall short; if anything it motivates me to get back in there and prove with the more opportunities I get, the more I will push myself to do better and to be better. And no one out there is keeping track of the times that I don’t succeed.
It’s a hard thing to let go of the little voice inside of our head pointing out our flaws and our failures. Truth is, people are often too consumed with their own lives to really care about what is happening with ours. We think the world is watching whenever we make a mistake, but it is really our own reflection staring back at us. To this day, I believe that our only true mistakes are the ones we don’t learn from, and I am learning every single day. My professor was right, the only person who can really hold us accountable is ourselves, and people aren’t tracking our losses like some crazed maniac. Always forward and always learning.
