Oxygen, water, food, shelter and companionship? Do humans really need human interaction to survive just as resolutely as we need food and water? According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we do. There is a reason solitary confinement in the prisons is used as a form of punishment. There’s a reason Tom Hank’s character in Castaway created a friend out of an inanimate volleyball. Humans crave communication with their peers, some even need to maintain physical touch to survive, and there exists a very, very limited number of individuals who would be able to thrive in a secular life of solitude, void of any companionship, and without anyone to impress upon their hermitage lifestyle. Interpersonal relationships of all kinds are instrumental in facilitating our emotional and intellectual needs, and just like a plant needing sunlight, without these relationships we will wither and desiccate as a fractured shell of our former existence. Fortunately, we live in a day and age where communication is easier now than ever before thanks to the technology surrounding us. Seeing our friends and loved ones are only a video chat or FaceTime call away, and we are able to be there without really being there. Gym instructors are able to conduct live Q & A and tutorials across various aspects of social media. Without these friendships and interactions with our peers. we may find ourselves entrenched within the throes of mental despair.
Relationships, whether romantic platonic, or of a mentoring variety, are integral in our growth and human development. Now, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my brooding times of solitude where I can immerse myself in my own creative thoughts and projects such as reading, writing, painting, and yoga, but even someone like myself who appreciates their “me time” would get incredibly lonely without any social interaction. If we are alone with our own thoughts too often, and nothing to keep us busy, our idle minds might begin to to travel to a place much more morose. It is times like this when our thoughts drift to darker experiences, the anxiety formulates destructive ideas, and the depressions kicks our asses. Humans need to feel involved with others, albeit currently at least 6 feet apart, and mostly within the confined spaces of our own homes. Writing this blog has fortunately provided me with a way to reach out and communicate with others. It is such a privilege to be able to extrapolate my thoughts from my mind and regurgitate them articulately through means of written vernacular. But there exists various forms of expression for others to convey meaning that isn’t necessarily limited to the written word. Humans communicate in a variety of ways and no matter what vestibule that journey takes, the destination is always the same.
I implore anyone at any time to not hesitate to reach out and ask for help during these trying times. In my opinion, the most difficult thing to ever communicate is either when we are wrong or at fault, or when we are in need of assistance in some form or aspect. Often times, people don’t want to invoke the sympathy of others, or feel weak, or shame at being at a loss at something going on in their lives. Everyone needs some assistance from time to time. The Beatles said it best when they sang they get by with a little help from their friends. I won’t elaborate further on the following line where they get high with a little help from their friends as well, but I digress. Friendships and relationships are the only type of ship I want to be on right now, because these quarantined cruise ships almost make Gilligan’s island look like a luxury vacation and we are all currently as disregarded as Mary Ann. Throw me a life jacket fam, because social interactions (from afar) will be the only thing keeping us afloat in this apocalypse. The only thing I’m trying to drown in is an abundance of positivity and not these lingering thoughts of misery.
Being alone is such a terrifying aspect, and we need to rely on one another to keep the communication train chugging along like the little engine that could. So whenever the burden starts to get too much to bare and that hill climbs steeper and steeper, you gotta tell yourself that you think you can. And then surround yourself with the type of people that will encourage you along the way. Think of how many songs are in existence about the pain of being alone or even of feeling alone even when surrounded by others. Loneliness is one of the worst, painful feelings there is and I am almost positive that most people can relate to having those emotions at one point or another in time. Now at a time when these feelings of woe are starting to invade their way into each and every single one of our homes, and we can’t just go out to alleviate these thoughts by going out shopping or immersing ourselves in a concert or movie. Instead, we are forced to confront these demons head on and often times this leads to vague social media posts where people are desperately asking for help without actually asking for help. Sometimes we need to read between the lines to see the aching soul clamoring for words of comfort hidden behind a jovial mask of jokes and upsetting song lyrics in its stead.
I know it may feel like we are alone now more than ever and that others have no idea the pain and suffering we constantly endure. I’ll be the first to admit that there are days where even I myself struggle no matter how well put together it appears from the outside looking in. My partner and I go through problems and have healthy arguments just like any other relationship in existence, and being perfectly imperfect and recognizing and validating those feelings is what makes the foundation to our relationship so strong. I’m missing the gym and the camaraderie I have with my peers at training and competitions. I miss being able to just go out and be with people should the need call out and captivate me. And I miss being able to freely come and go as I please. However, I try not to dwell and complain when I know there are many in less fortunate of circumstance, but that doesn’t mean I am still not allowed to have these grieving moments of sadness as well. I choose to give myself a fighting chance and keep myself as busy as possible. I continue to workout to get those good endorphins flowing and challenging myself to new fitness endeavors to give me goals to work towards. I participate in live Jiu Jitsu lessons in various group and instructor pages. I continue to organize and clean and cook and bake new things (the bacon wrapped cheese stuffed pastries I made for breakfast this morning were a total game changer). I’m doing daily yoga and meditation to soothe my mind and my nerves. And I have delved into an art project for the kids because not only does it soothe my soul, I absolutely adore doing things for the people I care about (it’s my love language). Please use this time to build strong bonds, we can continuously communicate and virtually be with one another in the weeks to come. Shut out the loneliness and the solitude and embrace friendships and relationships and all aspects of communication. And definitely get by with a little help from your friends.
The bacon wrapped cheese stuffed breakfast pastry ^
Well said. Thank you.