I don’t know who needs to hear this, but we can disagree about something and have opposing viewpoints and still remain friends, acquaintances, or at least cordial to one another. We live in a day and age where civility seems to go out the window when two people fall on opposite sides of the fences about various topics. It costs approximately zero dollars to shut the fuck up, so perhaps we should exercise that restraint a little more often. Just because we don’t agree on some things, doesn’t mean I do not want you to eat, it just might mean I’d rather you not dine at my table. Sit adjacent to me with your own party and break bread with those who choose to have you. This doesn’t mean I only want to surround myself with an echo chamber; please feel free to engage me in non-hostile debate and educational discussions, and if I am wrong about something, educate me without being condescending. You can present me with facts without being critical and remember that I am always trying to learn and grow as a person. We can disagree and not be sworn enemies, and we also do not need to see eye to eye on everything simply for the fact we are friends. Hell, I don’t even see eye to eye on everything with my life partner. Does this mean we will separate over every single difference of opinion? No, that would be completely asinine. Instead, we discuss things together to help understand where the other person is coming from, even if that means to sometimes agree to disagree. Adulthood can be a fickle thing.
I don’t know about you, but lately I have witnessed personal friends of mine, who I thought had a mutual respect for each other, completely eviscerate one another online due to a difference of opinion. Obviously, certain things are nonnegotiable; racism, bigotry, hatred and guard pulling should absolutely never be tolerated, but other things may require a little bit of compassion, understanding, and personal perspective. It pains me to see people be so ugly to their friends and family to the point they begin hurling personal insults and spewing hateful comments to the other. In my opinion, once you resort to cussing, name-calling, and personal attacks, anything further you have to say is null and void. I will listen to facts all day, but when emotional charges cloud our mind and we begin letting our feelings dictate what we say over a calm and rationally composed brain full of articulate phrasing, we become lost along the way with what diction we are actually trying to convey. I have seen friendships ended and relationships terminated over something that will more than likely end up a blip on the radar in just a few short years. I started to ask myself if the the things I am stressing myself out over will even matter in 5 years, and the majority of the time the answer is no. So, why am I running myself emotionally ragged about them now? Removing myself from overly hostile and problematic situations has been a godsend, and the good thing about when it happens online, is you can simply exit out the app or turn off your computer and walk away.
I’ve noticed that lately, people seem to be discovering a new kink about themselves where they feel compelled to constantly offer their 2 cents about their opinion every 5 minutes and on everyone’s posts for the sole purpose of argumentative debate. I guarantee you that most of your Facebook friends know your entire rolodex of political and social opinions by now with the incessant postings, constant influx of memes supporting your viewpoints, and respective arguments on other people’s posts. There is no need to further debate your point with people on these topics, especially when everyone is so set in their ways. No one is going to be swayed one way or the other, so all you are doing is wasting your breath and exhausting your fingers. But hey, if that’s what helps get your rocks off, then go right ahead and sit their with your smug little facial expressions lamenting on how idiotic others are for not bending their opinions and conforming to your ideals. Serious question, how many of you all are popping wood every time you click send on a post vilifying others and waving your opinion around like a Ron Jeremy Weiner going in for the kill? Or are sitting their with the most self-righteous demeanor thinking that you typing up your little words is saving the world one letter at a time? Truth is, none of you all are doing shit to benefit society except for clogging my newsfeed. If I wanted to deal with cloggings, I’d head down to the public bathroom at my local 7/11, although there’s a good chance those bathrooms would be closed due to the Rona, but I digress.
Yeah, I am well aware this blog post is riddled with negativity and critiques over the current state of the world, but can you really blame me for being tired of it all? I can’t believe I am witnessing people shatter relationships and being downright rude to those they once shared the mats with. Do you know how many people may see the things you write even if they never comment on it, and then formulate their own idea of the kind of person you are? While they may be way off base with their assumptions, all people have to judge you off on these days is your online persona and they can forget the actual person you are versus the one you are portraying on the internet. There are people on my newsfeed whom if I did not know personally, would think they were much more filled with hatred and anger than the person they actually are. Their internet persona is either that of a bully, a self-righteous virtue signaler, or a stubborn jackass intent on causing ruckus. These are unprecedented times, and even the so-called “experts” don’t have the experience with these matters, so what makes anyone on the internet think they are the end-all-be-all of informative debate? We could all learn a lot by being more open and perceptive to what others have to say and allowing our opinions to evolve and change as we learn and experience new things first-hand.
Trust me, I am not sitting here typing this with an air of superiority and feeding some sick God complex. I am sipping on my black coffee and just word-vomiting my thoughts and how I really feel onto a page. I do not by any means think you must agree with me or always believe that what I have to say matters. I definitely write these more as a cathartic release for my own thoughts and emotions, but should anyone else out there relate, then that is just an added bonus. I hope that the friends and people I admire and respect in my life haven’t lost camaraderie and gratitude for our friendship over anything I may have have posted online, and if there is anyone out there who wholeheartedly disagreed with me or wanted to point out some erroneous tidbit, I do hope they would come to me directly and have a civil discussion on the ways I went awry. I’d love to see an abrupt halt in the vitriol exchanged back and forth online between people on the internet, especially by those who I hold near and dear to my heart. The personal insults and expletive-laced rants denigrating one another really need to stop, as it does nothing to benefit anyone and just fuels the fire of hatred and a further divide. I try to alleviate some of the online tension with pictures of my culinary adventures in the kitchen, or photos of my tush mid-workout or (tastefully) gyrating in a Tik Tok video. You know, gotta let loose a bit and enjoy the little things in life. Hopefully, this all blows over soon and us as a collective society can learn more patience, empathy, kindness, and understanding with our fellow human and realize we all have our own mind with our own thoughts and ways of learning. In the meantime, love, peace, and booty cheeks.
