I’m a Real Boy

Move over Pinocchio, there is only one character in the story of my life working hard to become a real boy, and it ain’t some wooden ragamuffin of a puppet, so tell Gepetto to take several seats. The more you publicly put yourself out there in the world, the more you open yourself out there for ridicule, unsolicited opinions, and insults from small-minded armchair quarterbacks with all of the bravery anonymity behind a keyboard provides. Then, heaven forbid you start achieving certain levels of success, and those imbued with the green-eyed monster of envy start really spewing the vitriolic comments like diarrhea with their mouth as the metaphorical butthole. When I tell you that training and fighting has given me all of the confidence in the world, plus having a husband who makes me feel so beautiful every damn day, that I am a completely unbothered queen by the little pee pee energy of weak teeny men. The lion roaming the jungle wastes not one second contemplating the opinions of his prey, and I am frankly way too effing busy to spare any time on mediocre bullshit. They may have been able to intimidate me into silence or cause me hours of unrequited tears when I was young, but now, I’m a grown ass man and I am ready to handle business, ya dig?

What’s funny to me is the absolute shock these ‘men’ (and I use the term ‘men’ loosely here), have once they have been called out. See, I’m not shy, and I have no problem posting your bullying behavior online for all to see. Personally, I just sympathize with the women in your life who have to suffer the misfortune of knowing and being associated with such a pathetic little boy. Once confronted with their hateful rhetoric, many of them delete their comments, hide their profiles, and start shielding any personal information associated with them (such as occupation and location). But not ONE of these insolent little creatures has ever offered me an apology, so if they must confront the consequences of their own poisonous actions, so be it. They expect people to join them in pointing and laughing at someone rather than shame them for their unwarranted antagonistic replies, and I am surrounded by such upstanding people, fantastic men and women alike, with incredible integrity that they refuse to let it slide. It makes me feel so loved to have the support of so many, that a smattering of hurtful comments won’t even put a dent in my shield.

Imagine being so mean to someone for something they are born as and that they can’t help. Sure, I can put on makeup and rock a dress and look damn sexy, but I am always on the mats and prefer to be comfy in sweatpants on my down time. If having muscles (at 5’0 tall and 120 lbs) makes me manly, well, maybe you should try picking up a weight to help squelch that inferiority complex you’re rocking. Is being a man such an insult these days anyways? Last I checked, I was married to someone who loves the absolute hell out of me, and he is one of the strongest, manliest, and toughest guys I have ever met. My life is really good, like really, really good, and if my biggest complaint is some online trolls leaving me mean comments, then I think I am doing pretty alright. Anyways, I still get the random dudes sliding into my DM’s offering big money for feet pics and clamoring for any image of a toe, so I’m obviously somebody’s type regardless.

I wonder how the FSU football and basketball players back from my college days would feel about me being called a dude, because I was a reckless hellion who had no problem flirting with all the male athletes and as seen with quite a few of them (leave me alone, I was young and dumb and we lived and we learned). Hell, I was probably in the running for ‘MVP’ back in 2013 (and I’ll let you guess what the ‘P’) stood for. Now, either you’re calling about 25 above 6′, 220 lb men gay, or you’re just dumb as hell and intimidated by an unapologetically strong female athlete. I just wish the morons that say these comments would sign a waiver and go one round with me in the gym, and I’ll make sure to hold back a little as to not totally destroy their self confidence; lol just kidding, smashy smash time. And this time, the kind of smash I am much more adept at.

“The true character of a man is not defined by what he does in front of a crowd, but instead by what he does when no one else is around.” Always put your best self forward, treat everyone with the respect and dignity they deserve, and if you have nothing nice to say, close them lips. I am woman, and you will hear me roar. Roaring from the rooftops that I am strong, I am capable, and I am a damn beautiful lady. And I will make sure that the other little girls growing up in the world that are outside the lines of society’s standard of conventional beauty and those that march to the beat of their own drum, never have to feel anything less than a gorgeous badass queen who can continue to make waves in the universe. I won’t back down from my beliefs and I won’t stop calling out the bullies, and maybe one day things will be different, but I can at least make things better for anyone who comes after me. I will never be the marionette pulled by strings and forced to act, speak, and behave a certain way. I wished upon a star long ago, and you better believe me when I say that dreams really do come true, and dammit, if they’re gonna say it anyway, then I’m a real boy.