Who’s Your Emergency Contact?

There was a viral tik tok trend a little while ago where people were posting video clips of their “emergency contact.” Some of the videos were comical, showing clumsiness of epic proportions to get the commenters all to exclaim that they better find a new person to list in case of an emergency. Or they were video clips of people performing incredible feats in order to get help for their loved one. My thoughts immediately turned to my #1 emergency contact,  and all the reasons that solidify that choice as the best one there is.

My emergency contact is my husband, and he comes second to none. In fact, I am pretty sure he’s also the emergency contact for many of his kids. I do not doubt for a second that this man would scorch the earth in order to get to me in time and whisk me away to safety. I would actually be scared for any person or obstacle that would stand in his way while he was knowingly trying to get to a loved one. He always remains calm, even in incredibly difficult and challenging scenarios, and that calm, calculating demeanor is enough to send shivers down anyone’s spine.

Over Christmas, we watched Die Hard (because it IS totally a Christmas movie, and I will fight you on that). Watching it made me realize that I truly find that movie to be without a doubt, the most romantic movie in existence. I will legit tear up thinking about it. A man, who was currently separated from his wife mind you, took on a building full of terrorists head on, suffering multiple injuries, in order to save his wife. There was nothing that was going to stop him from getting to his love, and even with the odds stacked against him, and his own mortality hanging in the balance, he never relented. To me, that is ultimate romance. Come hell or high water, you are there to protect your love.

It’s no secret that I have had a rough go of it lately when it comes to my health. January 1^st, (ironically our anniversary), things took a different turn. From the moment I woke up, I knew something was wrong. I took a migraine injection almost immediately, which will usually totally eliminate the migraine, or make it about 95% obsolete. For some reason, it didn’t touch it and the pain in my head kept increasing. I just kept gaslighting myself that I was fine, and went to get dry needled as this helps alleviate a lot of my occipital and coat hanger pain that go hand in hand with my migraines.

Over the duration of the morning, and while I was at the gym, my face began to swell. Sometimes my vessels dilate too quickly, and I get very hot and red and flushed and will swell. But this time, I was swelling without getting hot or red. People commented on my swollen appearance, and still, I gaslit myself that it was fine and it would be going down. I went home to lie down, clutching my head in unbearable pain, as silent tears poured down my face. By the time my husband got home, he took one look at me and said we were going to the hospital. I was so consumed by pain, I didn’t remember taking a photo from that day, but a couple of days later I saw it in my phone, and I can see why he was concerned.

My face was so blown up, and I had particularly more swelling on the left side, which is where I was also having the most pain. If we hadn’t left for the emergency room when we did, I don’t know what would have happened. Shortly after arriving, the pain began radiating into my jaw and cheekbones, and even behind my ear. It felt like exceedingly painful electric shocks, and the severity of it made my head feel like it was going to explode. I was cradling my head and scream-crying in the waiting room. It’s crazy; I have broken countless bones, torn many ligaments, lacerated my face, and yet, I have never experienced pain like this. I would have given anything at this point to be put out of my misery.

My poor husband was so worried watching me clearly suffering and in pain, and there was nothing he could do about it. I know it killed him to feel helpless in that situation. Not until they put fentanyl in my IV did I have any sort of reprieve. Turns out I had a very simple sinus infection, but due to my condition where my blood does not flow properly, I was not getting enough oxygen and blood flow to my sinuses. Therefore, the swelling kept increasing, and pressing on my trigeminal nerves, and causing excruciating pain. The CT showed the inflammation, and how the left side sinuses were extremely swelled up. Absolutely nothing except the fentanyl even touched the pain. And after a couple years of being dismissed from all my weird symptoms, it’s hard to convey that you have a high pain tolerance, and even you are rating it a 10 of 10.

Unfortunately, the fentanyl wore off at around 3 am. It did not get quite as bad as before thanks to some of the meds still being in my system, but it was still rough. Yet again, my emergency contact came to the rescue when he saw me grab the keys to go to Urgent Care. Not sure what I was thinking there because I clearly couldn’t drive. I have never cried from physical pain before, and now I couldn’t stop. Thank goodness for corticoid steroids and injections. Within an hour, the swelling in my face subsided. And when it did, a cascade of fluid poured from my nose like a faucet, and then abruptly stopped. All the pressure eased up and I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.

The problem with having always been so healthy, is I was constantly dismissed. All my labs were fine. All my tests normal. Yet, I was still having strange symptoms, and the dizziness and passing out was scary. Then I developed this chronic coat hanger pain that won’t let up. Those muscles are constantly tensing and cramping since they aren’t getting enough oxygen, I have massive knots on my traps. The only time I ever had abnormal testing, was when they took blood while I was having an episode, and the hormone produced by my adrenal glands was sky high. Now, I am symptomatic pretty much 24/7, and it’s the reason cardiology was finally able to diagnose me.

It makes me mad when I think about. Doctors would tell me that the only thing that was showing up was dehydration. When I told them there was no way because I drink 140 oz of water and electrolytes a day, I am sure they thought I was a liar. My body can not retain water. During flares, I will literally have to pee every 20 minutes, and it’s always a ton of fluid. This makes sleeping super fun, and why no matter how much I drank, I was getting dehydrated. And of course now my blood vessels will do 1 of 2 things. They either constrict so much I can’t get blood flow, I have severe neck and shoulder pain, bad migraine, be very dizzy, and my BP will plummet and I pass out. Or they dilate so much that my body flushes red, my face tingles and swells, my breathing becomes wheezy, my hands burn red, my BP spikes and I get light headed and maybe pass out. I hate it here.

And yet, I feel so lucky with all of this unluckiness, to have the partner that I do. My emergency contact has done so much research to try and help me. I am so angry that my once capable, hard working body, has betrayed me. Little by little, my life is getting ruined. Though I try, there is so much that I just can’t do. It scares the people I care about when they see me red or swollen for no reason, as if I am suffering an allergic reaction. This pain is also killing me. It hurts so bad all the time. I am constantly having to lie horizontal with my legs up to help, and my poor service dog is so overworked with her constant alerts.

But I am so incredibly grateful that I have the type of emergency contact who would do anything to ensure my well-being. I recognize the fortune I have and know some people are put in the hospital by those that supposedly “love” them, and my husband is the one adamant I receive care. It’s hard not to feel defeated, but he makes me want to keep going. He is the one finding new methods, funding new methods, making sure I contact my doctors, and pushing me to ask for help when I need it, because I do very much hate asking for any type of help.

Honestly, in case of emergency, I am probably calling my husband before 911. That is how much I would trust him with my life. All I want for my loved ones, is that they may too, have a partner who would go to the ends of the earth for them and love them with every fiber of their being. I never thought I would have a partner that was so reliable, and loved me so much, that they would do anything for my health and happiness. I know I can get through anything because I have him, and I am determined to get better to give my husband the life and the wife he deserves. I may not have married the Nakatomi Tower hero John McClane, but I got someone even better, because I married my own personal hero, John Schell.