Out of Many, One

Well, it’s time. Time for me to emerge from my little writing sabbatical and burst out of my silent cocoon so that I may address all of the concerning things I have seen blasted verbally across social media platforms as well as the outside world. It’s insanely asinine to me how this all transpired. How quickly we have deteriorated into people who attack first and ask questions later; into a collective group of people who’s knee-jerk reaction is ad-hominem attacks and accusations without fact-checking, versus rational thought and conscientious debate. I am so saddened by the vindictive and malicious emotional vitriol catapulted across all online platforms as of late. When my husband asked if the reason I wanted to get back into blog writing was due to the current events and political assassination, I told him yes and no. It is more-so people’s reaction to everything we have witnessed. I am pretty disgusted and grossed out by a lot of it, particularly the reactionary arguments and name-calling online. And not just this week, but with everything in general. The murders of the Democratic House speaker Melissa Hortman and her husband, the murder of Ukranian Refugee Iryna Zarutska and the media’s attempts to sweep it under the rug, as well as the subsequent shooting of conservative moderate Charlie Kirk.

I have never truly discussed my political views and affiliations publicly, or broadcasted it in writing. For one, I don’t believe that what I have to say is more important than the next person’s, nor do I believe a lot of good can come from people so brazenly discussing what was once considered poor manners to ask of someone. I actually loathe when people’s entire personality is based on politics, on either side. Or honestly, when one facet of their character becomes their whole defining trait, but lately, politics has been the main culprit and on the forefront when it comes to perpetuating behaviors. We get it. You bleed blue. Or you’re devoutly red. Either way, you make it clear you utterly hate the other side and detest anyone with a dissenting opinion; so much so that you thumb your nose at them and find them to be of lesser intellect than your superior self. Social media has allowed everyone to think they are so self-righteous that they alone deserver a platform in which to declare their beliefs. Unfortunately, algorithms allow them to be in an echo chamber of their own views, and should they be met with any opposition, immediately the post in question becomes inundated with vindictive, personal attacks, name-calling, ridicule, defamation of character, and even legitimate threats thinly disguised as insults.

Nowadays, it is so easy to seek out confirmation bias, and tailor stats listed that support your ideals that leave out other key points, or only taking part of story, or misquotes taken out of context. I am not saying I have never been guilty of this, but in a day and age where we literally have access to a plethora of unending knowledge and education at the tips of our fingers, far too many people are so desperately clamoring to strengthen their viewpoints and “be right”, that they reshare posts that are totally false, or repeat fabricated mistruths. I can not tell you how many different people I saw, from both sides of the aisle, that were practically chomping at the bit and salivating hungrily to repeat information that “confirmed” their stance in the immediate aftermath of the Kirk assassination. Screams of “The shooter was a deranged leftist with pro-trans ideologies pushing the liberal movement!” To “The shooter was a far-right extremist with Maga paraphernalia trying to incite a civil war!” Like, I am talking about the immediate aftermath where there was no possible way anything had been proven or confirmed. I swore my fingers were getting calloused with how quickly I was fact-checking, researching, and filtering through AI to try and get as much as the extensive full-story as possible. We became so obsessed with pointing out the shortcomings and ‘danger’ of the opposite side, that somewhere in the middle, we lost the plot.

I have never singularly voted down party lines, and will continue to research (orders, laws, propositions, etc.) extensively, especially on things that directly impact my life, my friends, or my family. I do not believe everything is always black or white, red or blue, always or never. In my opinion, I find there to be a lot of shades of gray, a catalogue of purple, and a multitude of maybe’s and possibilities. I would like to think (whether it is false hope or simply naivety), that most Americans are more central, perhaps leaning a little bit more one way or the other, and with certain viewpoints that reflect ideals from either side. For a country so seemingly obsessed with labeling everything as a spectrum, it’s insane to think a political spectrum doesn’t also apply. I mean, the whole country was founded on the idea of checks and balances so no one faction or party could monopolize total control of the government, oppressing the minority group, and succumbing to destruction. Instead, democratic principles with republican safeguards were established where we, the people, elect the government officials we want to vote for in order to represent us and protect our liberties.  Cohesion is what built this country, what a shame for it to suddenly be torn apart.

I find issue when we immediately start talking in hard lines. All Democrats are this. All Republicans are that etc. All of the ensuing name-calling and derogatory monikers. Sure, the extremists on both sides of liberalism and conservatism can drench themselves in heavy biases by categorizing anyone who identifies as such as the most stereotypical, exaggerated, and untrue version of the party. For example, saying all Democrats are blue-haired, septum-pierced mentally-ill people with perpetual victim-complexes who support the sexual perversion of our children and inventing new genders on a whim. Or saying that all Republicans are xenophobic, white, privileged misogynists, riddled with racism and homophobia, whom support innocent deaths in order to sacrifice children’s safety in lieu of the 2^nd amendment, offering no solution outside of thoughts and prayers. Shockingly enough, not all liberals are shrieking harpies and not all conservatives are MAGA. Voting on certain issues from either side does not mean you are yearning for cultism or for violent protests. Both sides can be impulsive and lack emotional control and both can also be right about different things and learn from each other and compromise.

It’s crazy to think how there used to be a time when people from all walks of life, who upheld different beliefs, could be amicable with one another and break bread together. Lately, there have been so many posts on social media with a hard line in the sand about cutting out anyone else from their lives who believes differently. We can’t assume anyone who has differing opinions is ignorant, uneducated, or hateful. I am not condoning sacrificing morality to maintain camaraderie, please, by all means- cut off friendships or family who choose hate- but not all opinions make one person inherently good or bad. Humans are vastly complex creatures, who are heavily impacted by their own personal life experiences that have colored their views. There is no one on this earth who knows what it is like to be you, other than you. Your different life experiences may strengthen your resolve on some things and be the reason you feel so strongly on others. But we can not let these feelings overcome the facts and rationality. People often change over time as well, and it is awfully limiting to categorize someone as one way or another based off of things they have done or said in the far away past. Decades ago, I thought vastly differently as I do now. They made it seem to hold any Republican values meant you were hateful and prejudiced, and I vehemently opposed those beliefs. Thank goodness I have taken the time over the years to look into EVERYTHING and think for myself, and really try to understand the values and constituents that made up the whole for all the things I would be voting on.

 Unfortunately, I have lost so much respect for a multitude of people these past few months with their reprehensible verbiage and onslaught of personal attacks to strangers and friends alike on social media. Some people post nothing but political drivel and commentary 24/7, and honestly, go touch grass. If I look at your Facebook or Instagram, and your only posts are politically-related and you make about 10 of them a day, I judge. I know we shouldn’t, but I admit that I do. Even the people I share similar ideas with drive me crazy with their nonstop political posts, and have developed zero personality outside of arguing for “their side.” Truly, nowadays, it is less about debating for their side as it is to rip apart and personally attack the “other side.” Heaven forbid someone shares a diverse viewpoint, and people are clamoring to publicly lambast them or salivate at the thought of sliding into their personal inbox just to spew more insults. And I know that people that are more extreme one way or the other will read this blog and think I am incompetent, cowardly, and ignorant, and they will be furious that I am not screaming at the other side from the atop a hill somewhere with spittle flying and veins erupting on my face. But just so you all are aware, whenever you post hate-filled drivel and ad-hominem attacks with vulgar language, people see it. I see it. And I view you in a different light. Those who read it may not publicly interact with your post on social media with comments or likes, but they bare witness to your juvenile and pedantic behavior. At best, they agree with your points but they now know you to be a petulant child who can’t regulate your emotions and are passionately unstable, or they are on the opposition and you have severed a close relationship and created an enemy.

I am not going to say I miss September 2001, but I do long for the days immediately post 9/11, where the nation was so united in loving one another. I remember the pride I felt seeing strangers come together for support and kindness. We were so united as a country, and nowadays we could not be more divided. I often seek out positive and uplifting videos of human kindness in order to not become too jaded. I do have a lot of Republican/more conservative leaning viewpoints, but took no satisfaction that we elected such a divisive individual. I knew too many people would be clouded by their opinions to ever see past the man on screen and the issues of the world that could be solved if they put aside their personal biases. And those that would latch onto egregious headlines rather than looking into it a little bit more to see that strides and accomplishments he has made. I am happy with some things, and also disagree with some of his other choices, but that is the beauty of having freedom of speech (and thought). I was born ethnically Jewish, albeit not religious, but I take no issue with those that are, especially if that helps their morality in being a good person. I am all for more love in this world, and hope for the day when everyone celebrates more people falling in love rather than focusing on who it is with. I read and listened and watched a lot of political commentary, from both sides in order to form more well-rounded opinions. I think when we lose the ability to think we can still learn, rather than assuming we have all the answers, is when we stop evolving as a species. I have collegiate degrees in Criminology and Psychology, and know that nowhere near makes me smarter than someone who didn’t pursue secondary education. I have learned about so many different things from people of all walks of life, who look different, sound different, were raised different etc. I keep looking for rooms with people who are smarter than me so I can keep learning.

I watched a lot of Charlie Kirk’s debates over the years (not just bits and pieces), and although I disagreed with his opinions on quite a few things, I always respected his willingness to engage in open forums and debates and his impact on getting more of Gen Z in politics. Whether I agreed with him or not, he allowed anyone who wanted a voice to have one, let anyone (even the starkest off oppositional views) debate with him, and extensively researched the topics he would speak on. I liked a lot of what he had to say, found some of it repulsive, and know that none of it warranted nor deserved to be murdered over. A lot of indirect language of his is being misquoted, or taken out of context, or painted in a way to create an unsympathetic victim of a disgusting act. Charlie Kirk himself, who was vehemently opposed to a lot of the immigration policies and “allowing too many people who hated America” to move here, has publicly stated that “the right to speak freely is the birthright of all American Citizens” and did not agree with anyone being silenced, even if they had completely opposite beliefs. The First Amendment protects our citizens from being able to speak freely, practice freedom of religion, peacefully assemble, and the freedom of press. Anyone who finds glee in a brutal murder and celebrates the loss of someone’s life who did nothing but use their words as is their unalienable right in this country, is a deplorable and depraved individual.

I am not a fan of the ‘trauma olympics’ running rampant in current climates. Some people are outraged over people’s shocking response and sympathies regarding the assassination of Charlie Kirk rather than other killings, murders, and travesties. Personally, I just think the comparisons are unwarranted and it is ALL terrible. What people have to understand, is that so many saw video of that death occurring, even if they weren’t searching for it. I happened to be on ‘X’ by pure coincidence in the immediate aftermath. I clicked his name to see why he was trending, and was immediately met with an extremely up close brutal slaying where I knew immediately I had just watched a murder take place. Of course people are going to have a more visceral response to the murder they see with their own eyes. And then to see people absolutely abhorrently tear one another to shreds on the internet. This total lack of civility is something Charlie Kirk would never have stood for. Too many friendships ended this past week, too many personal attacks, and far too much hatred for anyone with a dissenting opinion. I am so grateful I married a man who stands firm in his beliefs, but is always willing to listen to others and lend a helping hand. That is who I strive to be and how I want to be remembered. Defined by being a good person who gives so much of themselves to others, just like my husband.

I know it has been awhile since I wrote a blog, and I have a feeling my inbox will have quite a few derogatory remarks and people mad at me for one reason or another. But I will say with my whole chest that I am extremely proud to be American. As someone who has been fortunate enough to travel to other countries, I understand exactly how privileged I am to be born in the land of the free. I wholeheartedly disagree with people who hate our country, and think much of it is based on propaganda and not seeing enough of other parts of the world to understand the fortune we have by living here. Regardless of political affiliation or religious beliefs, I will continue to try my best to do the right thing and be a good person. I understand I may never see peace in my lifetime, but I at least will strive for the civility in my personal life with those I engage with. I will always be willing to help my fellow neighbor or stand up for what is right, even when it is the not easy or unpopular choice. I know that we are as weak as we are divided, and only as strong as we are united. The derision that has infiltrated the world and spread like a pandemic is doing nothing but dividing us further and weakening our home. Remember the words you speak and the people who are watching. Respect goes such a long way, especially in mending these gaps that threaten to divide us further. I do hope we reach a turning point that allows both sides to start coming together in unity rather than maintain these staunchly separate steadfast views. All of our differences is what this country coming together was built on. E Pluribus Unum – Out of many, one.