I remember back in my teen years, I would watch shows like ‘Girlfriends’ and ‘Sex and the City’ and think about how powerful it was to have such a strong bond with other women, and build an incredible relationship with them. I recall longing and hoping that one day, as an established adult, I would have women in my life who would be the friends that I could rely on in times of need, the ones who would be a ray of light on my dark and stormy days. I have always wanted to have those sisterly bonds with my female friends, the ones who I could vent to unapologetically, who would make me laugh when I needed it the most, would provide a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen with, and a genuine joy to spend time with. As a woman growing up in this unforgiving world, there have been many times where there were women in my life who were spiteful, hateful, conniving, and secretly jealous. It’s an unfortunate canon event that many, if not all of us ladies experience at one time or another, and sadly, many times it occurs even past those juvenile high school years. After all those not so great experiences with some not so great people, you end up truly treasuring and valuing the good ones.
I am beyond grateful to have such an amazing group of women who train at my gym. Women who I consider close friends of mine and ones I really enjoy spending time with and talking to. Then, outside of my own gym, I am friends with several groups of ladies from gyms all across the tristate area. Women I can turn to for support, or laughter, or advice, or camaraderie without the fear of being judged or ridiculed. Being a part of so many group chats with a plethora of wonderful ladies really heals the soul. It’s such a wild phenomenon to me how much it never ceases to amaze me when people truly and genuinely care for your well-being and mental health. If only all of us were so lucky to have such great relationships and such solid girl groups, then the world would be a better place.
As I write this, I am currently in the midst of planning a whole get-away with the ladies from my gym. Naturally, it centers predominantly around Jiu Jitsu, but of course we will enjoy quite a few other beach time festivities as well. After an extremely rough couple of weeks, full of some not-so-good times on my behalf, I have never looked more forward to a get away in my life. You know the saying, when it rains it pours? Well, right now I am caught in the midst of a torrential downpour, a hurricane if you will. The storm is raging on, and I am caught outside without an umbrella. The flood and onslaught of one thing after the next is really starting to get to me, and I have never needed my group of ladies more. It’s getting a bit difficult to face the day lately, and today I wanted nothing more than to lie in bed and try and sleep all day, hoping that these past few weeks have merely been a dream and none of it actually occurred. Sad to say I got dressed anyway to face the day and hope beyond hope that not everything would go wrong today as it has of late. I am currently living proof of Murphy’s Law.
All this to say if I didn’t have the girls in my life who provide me refuge and a safe haven to be seen, heard, and valued, I would crumble like a Nature Valley granola bar. I do believe when I say that my husband truly is my best friend, but sometimes you just need your girls. Life would feel so incomplete and empty without them. This past Sunday was another one of the GLOSS (Grappling Ladies of Southeastern States) competition training events. A room of 60 badass women all aiming to help each other and make one another better. I spent 3 hours on those mats grappling my little buns off and doing some intense Jiu Jitsu. But most importantly, I spent that time with people I care about and enjoy hanging out with. Lots of laughter was shared, and just a great place full of like-minded women who are all there to uplift one another. I got to see a bunch of my friends who live too far away for me to see as often as I would like and it was wonderful. Women who cheer for each other, support each other, and raise everyone’s spirits. Now that is what it means to be rich.
No longer do I have to look at those girl friend groups in the cinema and tv and be filled with envy and sadness. I have made it to the point in my life where it is a reality. I have that, and I am so lucky. I was always so fiercely independent, and so unsure of being able to trust others due to being burned one too many times in my past. But how lonely it was to have no girls to confide in, or bounce ideas and questions off of, or to celebrate with in the good times and cry to in the bad. Literally just this morning I had multiple messages from several different girlfriends, some sharing some funny memes they knew I would like, some sending motivational and uplifting quotes, and some even just to check in on me, knowing I have had a rough time lately. And as someone with words of affirmation being their love language, this all was the absolute kindest thing imaginable. Just knowing people care about you, or that they truly listen by bringing you coffee when they know your fridge broke and all your cold brew spoiled. Having a sisterhood has filled that hole in my life I didn’t even know existed, and to love and be loved with friend soulmates is without a doubt one of the best parts about being alive.
