I Suck at Jiu Jitsu

I suck at Jiu Jitsu, and you probably do too. Hear me out; this sentiment rings true especially for competitors. We are constantly pushing ourselves in training and striving to be the best that we can possibly be. Often times gearing up for tournaments, or Jiu Jitsu super fights or even MMA fights, and it can be grueling what we endure after consistently constantly put our bodies and minds through the ringer. Jiu Jitsu is without a doubt the most humbling sport there is. There is always someone younger, quicker, more skilled, stronger, smarter, and more aggressive gunning for you. They say if you are ever the the best or smartest person in a particular room, then you need to go and find a new room. I can honestly say by how often I get my ass beat in training, my room is perfectly sustainable thank you very much.

I’m told that everyone goes through waves and plateaus in Jiu Jitsu. Some days we feel on top of the world and submitting and dominating the vast majority, including those who outrank us. And some days there is nothing that clicks no matter how hard we try and even the newer guys are kicking our butts. If there is a person out there reading this who identifies as someone who is ridiculously confident and never ever has felt one time that they suck at Jiu Jitsu, DM me immediately. I need to pick your brain on what the secret to this amazing power is. Because I will tell you right now it sure as shit isn’t training almost every day, sometimes twice or three timesa day, and supplementing your Jiu Jitsu with other workouts, nutrition, and discipline, because sometimes I still feel like I’m a steaming pile of dung in regards to my Jiu Jitsu skills (or lack thereof).

I see posts on social media all the time from people a few months into the sport wondering when they will get better at this. I’m going on 9 years of constant struggle snuggles and I still ask myself this almost daily. They say that ever day you suck a little bit less, but sometimes I feel like I’m sucking so hard my nickname should be Dyson Hoover (you know I have matured as an individual when I decide to go with the home appliances route versus the Brazzers joke to emphasize a metaphor). Truth is, those of us who strive to be better will never truly be satisfied with our skills and techniques no matter how long we have been in the game, and it’s quite frustrating.

These thoughts we grapple with in our mind can be especially disheartening the more we compete. Sometimes we do exceptionally well and people seem to almost expect it of us. And then there are days where we absolutely shit the bed in a competition or the days we get annihilated on the mats. I doubt any single one of these people would nullify any of our previous accomplishments or accolades, but I can’t help that feeling like I let everyone down when the tides don’t turn in my favor. I know I shouldn’t be so down on myself, and it is this reason that my favorite group chat I’m in has a rule about negative self-talk. You will immediately get hit with the monster-faced emoji and the whole group ensures that you rectify those thoughts immediately. Definitely recommend surrounding yourself with friends like these.

Any way, we all suck at Jiu Jitsu, maybe some more so than others, but all a little bit at the end of the day. However, we are all also some badass and resilient motherfuckers who show up day in and day out to get better perfecting our skillsets at a sport we truly love. I wouldn’t keep trying if I truly didn’t love it as much as I did and I want to keep getting better. I know this will not only benefit myself in future competitions, but it will also benefit my teammates who require training partners to push them. A rising tide lifts all ships and iron sharpens iron. So now, I leave with you with an accurate poem of my BJJ journey describing the rolls I have with the person at the gym who pushes me most each day to make me a better competitor. Thanks Kimmy!

The timer rings, I have my goal.

The round then sets as we slap, bump, roll.

I work hard to pass, but I’m met with resistance,

Yet I keep trying at my own mind’s insistence.

I try implementing pressure, and go with the flow,

But I’m so freaking light so it’s airborne I go.

I float mid-direction, and remain on top,

Their legs keep me at bay, I wish they would stop.

It’s making me better, I know this is true,

But I wish I sucked less, sometimes I feel new.

Certain days I’m the hammer, some days the nail,

I keep telling myself that I’ll one day prevail.

The blood, sweat, and tears, won’t be for naught,

I keep working to pass, the hardest I’ve fought.

I’m breathing heavy as the sweat drips down my face,

We’re both active competitors, and keep a high pace.

I need to be better at combatting their guard,

Still after 9 years, Jiu Jitsu is hard.

We sweep back and forth, with submission attempts,

Our gis are askew, our hair is unkempt.

The timer then rings, it ends in a draw,

Why aren’t I better? My feelings are raw.

I hop in the shower, to drown in my sorrow,

And get ready to do it all over tomorrow.