What About Me?

We live in a day and age where everyone’s lives are thrust full-force in your face, and in the advanced technological era, so much of what we see is not all remotely close to reality. People lie, people embellish, people exaggerate, people photoshop, and people present a falsehood to heighten their sense of self. Many people have distanced themselves or else deleted all social media accounts entirely so they don’t become entrenched in an everlasting depression that comes with ‘likes’ and ‘views’ or lack thereof, or negative comments, or else jealousy and envy at the lives of others. If only we really saw how much of a difference between what is portrayed and posted versus the actuality of a statement, then we might reevaluate our emotions on said subject.

False portrayals are often why I am exceptionally weary of any type of advice dished out in an online group or forum, especially when pertaining to a niche skillset, such as Jiu Jitsu. Just the other day, I had a woman the same weight class as me tell me she would compete against me if I was ever in the area, even referring to herself as a soon to be black belt (I am brown). Turns out, it was very easy to find out she was a blue belt and full of lies, each getting more outrageous than the next. Immediately deleted her posts and switched her settings to private, but screen shots are forever. Why lie though? Just goes to show you should always be careful accepting advice from strangers on the internet. (As of this post she just got promoted to purple, so yay. Still, quite far from a 12 year brown belt with an impassable guard).

Speaking of the internet, why are there always posts drawing comparisons with others, especially when it comes to women. If I see one more post about tallying how “high maintenance” you are, or denigrating someone for their use of filters, or condemning someone for an unkempt appearance, I am going to lose it. It screams ‘pick me’ bitch mentality. Did we learn nothing from Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls when she points out to the audience that calling someone ugly does not make you any prettier. Do not be the person that is so excited to proclaim that they are “not like other girls” that they subsequently put down every one else in their path. “Get you a girl that can do both.” Nah fam. Do what makes you happy regardless of what others think as long as it brings no harm.

Not everything has to be about you all of the time. Sure, we all like to feel wanted, needed, and important. But it is perfectly okay if any of those things do not pertain to us at any particular time. We are all getting a little bit too grown to seek out constant validation, and the more we clap for others, the happier we will be. Let people enjoy things. Let people post about their individual accomplishments without coming up with an anecdote to somehow make it about you. They just received they blue belt? Offer a hearty congratulations without feeling the need to tell them you earned yours in 9 months. Learn to cheer for others without hogging the megaphone and the spotlight.

There is nothing I love more than seeing people on my timeline winning at life. Even what may seem like a minuscule accomplishment can be such a big deal if we learn to relish in the glory of those moments. Hating on others is stank coochie energy. Lying about yourself to inflate a false sense of worth is not the moves chief. There is no set timeline for reaching your goals, as long as you are honestly trying, I am rooting for you every single step of the way. Do unto others as you would have done unto you, and you will never be left wondering “what about me?”