If you follow me on social media, you’ve probably seen the rough patch I have endured recently. It first started with my Bubbe (grandma) passing. I was lucky to have her in my life for so many years. She lived to be 91 and I spent several hours with her a few days before she died where she expressed her gratitude at the life she has lived and seeing her grand babies grow up to be successful and find love. That same day, I was hit with a migraine that knocked me on my ass, I’m talking about nonstop puking and searingly blinding head pain that found me in the Emergency Room until the IV of meds worked their way into my system. Worst pain I have ever been in by a long shot. Then, to cap everything off, I had to pull out of a super fight for the first time ever as my right knee finally called it quits. Had a bucket handle tear almost the past year and when it flips upside down it gets trapped between the joints and I can’t extend my leg. All in all, not one of my better days.
The beauty about all of this though, is the appreciation I gained for even the simplest of things the very next day. After feeling so miserable with a migraine the day before, every single breath almost felt like a new lease on life. When I say that a migraine makes all other headaches feel like a paper cut, I am not even kidding. No lie, I thought I was having a brain aneurysm and I was so scared. Thank god my fiancé was there to take me to the hospital so I could get treated and I could not be more grateful for the man I have beside me. Plus puking nonstop will make you appreciate every bit of food you can keep down after. And now I am lucky to have a prescription at the ready should I ever need it again.
My knee didn’t come as a surprise, as this past year it kept liking to dislocate sporadically, sometimes even multiple times throughout the day. It just broke my heart having to pull out on such short notice. If I could have put any weight on my leg at all, I would have still competed, and was debating internally whether to mention anything at all. I felt awful to everyone I let down and leaving my opponent without an opportunity to grapple. My meniscus has flipped again and am currently doing much better, but it’s only a matter of time before it reverses once again and I will be forced on crutches. It sucks but I am so thankful things aren’t worse and recovery will be simple. Still didn’t hurt as bad as that god forsaken migraine.
Lastly, I want to honor my Bubbe. She was the most unintentionally hilarious woman with her Jewish dialect and thick New York accent. She never failed to make me laugh as she expressed her disdain over my shaved hairstyle and tattoos. She was always great to John and his kids and loved to throw shade my way which always made all of us laugh. She meant well and I have a tough exterior so I never took it to heart and just found it comedic instead. The woman had a flair for dramatics and exaggeration and never faltered to express her opinions, even when not a soul had asked for it. She wanted to make sure John still loved me before she passed because in her words, my whole aesthetic is pretty darn hideous. Haha.
While one day can crush your morale, and make you sick physically and emotionally, there is always a dawn of a new day just beyond the horizon. I know that will my tenacity and strong loving support of those around me, I am more than capable of making it through anything life threatens to throw at me. After all, last time I had a really difficult period in life (and coincidentally also required knee surgery) was when I first began my relationship with John, and to this day he is still by far the best thing that has ever happened to me; it’s not even close. Maybe everything does happen for a reason, but it doesn’t mean I can’t grieve and be sad for what was lost. There’s always tomorrow to start again.