Trauma is probably something that shouldn’t be as highly relatable as it is, but unfortunately, almost every single person you come into contact with has suffered or endured something in their past that has dramatically altered the course of their existence. It has molded us, impacted us, and effected us, but it should never define us or be used as a long-lasting crutch for excusing reprehensible actions and behaviors. At some point in our lives, we will need to take responsibility for the ways in which we proceed, and learn how to reign the inner thoughts and emotions that threaten to bubble up to the surface and impede our journeys. At what point do we muster up the courage to speak out and seek therapeutic help in one fashion or another in order to learn how to healthily cope and move past what tried so heavily to break us?
Carrying these burdens can weigh heavily on our minds and damage our souls with their dangerous secrecy of the stigma associated with certain things. By internalizing our struggles incessantly, we are forced to confront them all too suddenly when the tiniest thing sends us catapulting over the edge and we inevitably snap. This may mean we lash out at those who don’t deserve it and when confronted with our transgressions, rely on the excuse that there is something in our past causing us to act/think/feel this way. I am almost certain that I, myself, am guilty of treating someone in a way that doesn’t align with how I truly feel about them because of the circumstances and life experiences that have cultivated and shaped my views and ways of thinking.
The day you allow yourself to disrespect an undeserving person and claim being the victim because of your life’s experiences, is the day you lose a lot, if not all, of my respect. There are certain lines you do not cross and that you can’t take back, and once certain bonds get broken, they can never be repaired back to perfect condition. This may be why I prefer to keep my distance with the majority of people, and that is because you can’t be hurt and let down by someone if you never establish those relationships and sacred bonds in the first place. I know that the whole ‘do everything on my own’ mentality is a trauma response, but at least I am aware of my shortcomings and working on controlling the emotions that encompass that.
I truly hate that we can all relate to something that we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy, and it can really impact our futures. Sure, some people have had it worse than others, but this is not a traumatic olympics where the person who went through the most is the one that wins the gold medal. Compassion and empathy can definitely go a long way, but so does being able to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and keep on trucking. There wouldn’t be so many sayings in existence like “there’s always a rainbow after a storm” or “it’s always darkest before the dawn” if almost every single person didn’t have to battle and clamber through some egregious bullshit before achieving greatness.
At the end of the day, personal accountability plays a massive role in deterring the outcomes in every chapter of your life. The hardships we endure will sway our choices, decisions, actions, reactions, and lives in one fashion or another, and it is up to us whether we let them be reminders of the strengths we have, or completely limit our growth. Life is hard, but it is for everyone, so it’s always good to take a step back and breathe in that gentle reminder. Experiences in our past may have scarred us, but there are many advancements we can take to help heal those wounds instead of ripping them back open to bleed at every issue that arises in our future. These scars are indicative of where we have been, but don’t determine where we are going. If you never heal from what hurt you, then you will continue to bleed on people who did not cut you. The sutures get removed, the gaping hole closes up, the blood clots, and the new skin stretches over in its stead. Your trauma will always be a part of you, but it won’t be what defines you and that, my friends, is the true power of healing.
