Patience may be a virtue, the moral compass we should all strive to adhere the quality for, but it is also harder to master than a 300 pound blue belt learning to berimbolo. Think about it. If patience was so easily attainable, New Year’s resolutions wouldn’t exist. There wouldn’t be an influx of new gym members in January only to have that number deplete by February when results aren’t drastic and immediate. But when you live in an instant gratification society, it’s hard not to get discouraged when achievements take time to come to fruition. With everything from immediate comments/reactions/likes on social media, to appliances being delivered next day to your home, and food showing up to your doorstep within minutes, we have become impatient with the learning process and time it takes to achieve goals. I, for one, am incredibly guilty of being upset and frustrated with myself when I can’t seem to nail down a specific goal I have in mind in the timeframe I have set for myself. But nothing in life worth accomplishing is easily attainable, and that’s what makes the process all that much more rewarding.

Easy come, easy go. That’s what they say, right? Therefore, what joy would I obtain from instantaneous results that wouldn’t be fleeting? After all, the average length to obtain a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is 10 years with consistent training, so it should come as no surprise when things take time for us to adequately master. There’s a reason I start my weight cuts for fights several weeks out, and try to control my diet and restrict my portions as soon as humanly possible. Because all of this takes some time and some planning. There’s a reason why when doctors start you on a new medication, they will tell you to give it several weeks to take effect before deciding if it’s for you or not. And there’s a reason why motivation will dissipate, but good habits and sticking to a schedule will prove more beneficial in the long run. Just like the moon, many facets of our life wax and wane, and it takes patience to learn to be as content during the crescent periods as we are during the full periods. But man, I know this is something I am learning (and failing at) considerably, and am trying to be patient with the process in and of itself. If everything was achieved immediately, we would all be left feeling more dissatisfied than Roy Cooper’s wife in the bedroom.

My biggest downfall when it comes to patience would probably be pushing myself through minor aggravations and pains on my body, therefore inflicting more damage because I simply don’t take the time to heal and up rushing back into my arduous training regiment far too quickly. It’s hard to sit on the sidelines and watch others excelling in the sport and even earning new degrees on their rank while it causes us too much pain to even step onto the mats. But if we rush the process due to our impatience, there’s a good chance we will do more harm than good and thus delaying the recovery process even more. I have done this several times in my athletic career. Patience is the calm acceptance that things happen in a different order than we had initially planned, and it is a major step in the maturation process. Especially now with Covid putting a hold on a lot of people’s ability to train, it’s got to be exceptionally taxing on the mind to see others forging ahead while you are left to watch from afar. But just because it may take longer than others, doesn’t make the journey any the more meaningless. Keep on trucking.

I’ve been late to the party my whole life, so to speak, so it’s astounding to me that I have still yet to learn to be kind to myself and practice patience. I was a late bloomer, and watching all my friends develop and mature before me was absolutely killer on my self esteem. Kind of ironic that I went from the bullying school peers calling me a boy because of my curve-less and stick-figured body, to now online trolls labeling me as a man due to the muscles I possess. Whole lot of tiny wiener energy running rampant in society when all it really needs is a nice heaping dose of that confident BDE. Eventually, my body developed and bloomed in a way I felt more comfortable among my friends and gave me my first ever lesson in the difficulty of patience. The time will pass either way, and the goals we work towards will undoubtedly improve, so learning to be kind to ourselves as many of these accomplishments take time is a valuable asset to possess.

Patience is a bitter pill to swallow, but provides the best medicine we could ever get in life. It’s hard not to want to go off and hibernate for a few years and emerge from the cocoon a stunning butterfly. Unfortunately, that is not how life works and we must learn to first pay our dues as the grubby and eager little caterpillar. Patience is such a common theme in society; there’s a reason so many stories relate back to the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady wins the race, but boy oh boy is it difficult to not want to strap on shoes with built in motored engines. We should always crave the battle, not the glory, as the entire journey and process is the real prize to be won throughout our lifetimes. Discipline and hard work will cultivate into many wonderful things as long as we remember to sprinkle in patience along the way. And eventually, we will learn what has once proved difficult and cherish the accomplishments for the amount of time, sweat, and effort they took to achieve. And even if we must be patient to allow our bodies, minds, and hearts to heal from any perilous injury or devastation, we will eventually emerge from the chrysalis stage as a beautiful and powerful butterfly.

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