Love is the most powerful force in the world, capable of burning down whole cities, destroying empires, igniting wars, facilitating a new era, fostering the growth of a nation, and conquering any demons threatening to dismantle our entities. Nothing like love can be as capable as causing so much pain and hurt, but also instilling the greatest feelings we are allowed to endure during this life. Sure, it is always a risk, but life without risk is not life worth living, and there is no greater achievement in life than investing yourself in the pivotal emotion of love, whether for a partner, children, family, friend, pet, relative, or even yourself. Fortunately, I have found my one person I would climb the highest mountains for and swim across the deepest oceans in order to protect and be with, but that isn’t to always say everything has always been smooth and easy. Together, we can conquer all hurdles and barriers, but life has hurled some doozies at us lately. Just know that the whole world could be against my man, and I will stand beside him to support, love, and fight his battles with him. I’ll pass him the bullets as the world draws its guns aiming to shoot and I’ll shield him from the blows. Love can be so powerful that no outside force or entity could ever threaten to break it down, and it is almost comical for anyone or anything to even try. Heartbreak is one of the most relatable universal feelings around, and after tasting such a horrible emotion, when you find the complete opposite, you hold onto it with every fiber of your being.
All that being said, I can not stress enough how vital it is to be wholly and immeasurably in love with one’s self before making the ultimate decision to share that love with someone else. After all, the person we will spend the most time with is us, and it is incredibly important to enjoy the company of ourself and love the person we have become before making the selfless decision to engage in that love with another. I took a solo road trip the other day, and while I wholeheartedly missed my partner more than I can say, I did quite enjoy my solo time and being with my own thoughts. Because I know who I am as a person, and how to love myself, I have no qualms sharing and showering that love on someone else. I’d suffice to say without hesitation, that I am sure to make it be known how much I want that other person to know that my love has no limits when it comes to them, and because I have made peace with a healthy way to convey love for myself, I can share and expand that love with another to build a lifetime of happiness with. Previous relationships have been exceptionally educational in teaching me areas which I was lacking and areas in which I allowed myself to be treated that should have never been tolerated. Now, I’ve got that type of love that I know without a doubt eclipses all grievances and can help me make it through everything life has to offer.
One type of love that is necessary, but many don’t ever want to be a part of, is tough love. Tough love can be brutal, hurting our feelings and causing tears of frustration or even mild resentment. These emotions are fleeting, however, and it’s times like this we need to remind ourselves that pressure makes diamonds. If we’ve never experienced any form of tough love, it’s a sad realization that no one has ever cared enough for us or loved us so much that they wanted to push us to be better and do great things. Tough love is not to be confused with abusive behaviors and detrimental language, it is a form of love so strong that only those who truly feel that emotion for us can exude. Why would I want to waste the one life I have on this earth not constantly trying to improve or succeed or live my life in a way that will positively impact others? I was not put here to waste away and leave zero impact on my people and my surroundings, and I hope there are those in my life who care enough about me to call me on my bullshit if I’m doing the bare minimum. If you love someone, and I mean truly love someone, you want them to do well in life and reach all their capabilities and aspirations. Tough love may not win you in universal popularity, but the person who never pushes anyone else to do better just because they want to be liked and adored, is a pitiable fool and should take a long walk off of a short bridge.
One type of love I don’t believe in to any extent is unconditional love. This type of mindset leads to a cycle of tolerable abuse because you should “always love that person regardless of any extenuating circumstances.” That leaves a lot of gray area in terms of infidelity, toxic behaviors, and absolute unhealthy relationships that should have been terminated long ago. Just because love may have some conditions, that does not mean there exists an incessant list of stipulations that must be met in order for that relationship to flourish and thrive. Comfort and familiarity is not a reason to ignore warning signs and fear of the unknown certainly isn’t either. A mutual respect for whichever parties exist in the relationship and the ability to communicate wants, needs, desires, and emotions is the key to a strong foundation in establishing close personal connections with all those entwined in said love. You can love someone and not be in love with them or harbor feelings of warmth for said individual without wanting to establish anything further. If we are clear with our intentions from the get go and honesty about all that we think and feel in regards to a relationship, then there is nothing that love won’t help people get through. These are the types of conditions that should be permittable to be discussed and the ideologies that make or break a bond. The love between parent and child is perhaps the closest thing to unconditional love I can attest to, but even so, Dahmer’s mother must have retained some ill feelings towards the monster her son had become in the end.
Love is always louder than hate, stronger than sadness, more powerful than fear, and more capable of greatness than despair. Love can conquer obstacles leaps and bounds higher than the tallest architectural structure and reduce the scariest of men to blubbering souls of vulnerability. It can be the most painful wound to bare when love causes a heart to shatter, but it is also the greatest reason for living and thriving. And that is with all types of love, not just romantic. The love that I have been so incredibly fortunate to have stumbled across invigorates every sinew of my being to knowing I can do anything with that man by my side. And to share in the love for his children is the most indescribable feeling of happiness that even as a writer, I can’t fully express. Should anyone or anything cause pain or sadness with those I care most about, I warn those to keep their distance. Nothing has been more painful to me than watching those I love suffer without being able to alleviate their pain. If there is anything in this life I want to accomplish, it is to spread and share my love with others and leave the world a better place just because I was in it to create more love. I tell my friends I love them, my pets I love them, my family I love them, and my partner whom I love more than anything on this planet. Love is the one thing that the more we give, the more we gain, and my wealth of love has me feeling like the richest woman alive. And to anyone reading this, I hope my love has touched your heart and filled it with happiness, as there will never be a time or a place I won’t be compelled to spread it like warm butter on freshly baked bread.
