Sometimes, the hardest thing we can do in life is distance ourself and sever ties with those who have been in our lives for so long but are no longer contributing to the happiness and growth in which everyone is deserving of. Especially if these aforementioned people are weighing down our mental clarity, do nothing but add anguish and grievances to our lives, and encourage toxic and detrimental behaviors to accrue. Is putting our health and happiness above a negative person’s feelings really all that selfish? Misery truly loves company and a toxic individual will begin to become be-sodden with envy if those who are close to them begin to find clarity and success in their emotional endeavors and personal and professional lives. It’s difficult to begin the journey of separating ourselves from people we have been friends with for years or even our own flesh and blood, but if nothing but a dark cloud hangs over us whenever in close proximity or even verbal or written contact from these people, then perhaps the healthiest and most beneficial thing we can do for ourselves is to just let go.
There are times in our life when we come to a crossroads, and it is necessary to make the difficult choice on what is the appropriate path to take. Doing what is right, is not always easy, and there will be those who denigrate and belittle our choices no matter what. If you are not contributing to any joy whatsoever in my life, and in fact, start to make my happiness dissipate, then it may be time for me to say sayonara suckas. Often times, holding on to something can cause more damage than simply letting go, and this damage is not always something that can be physically seen, but rather, emotionally felt causing turmoil in our hearts, mind, soul, and spirit. There comes a time in everyone’s life where we must learn to do what is necessary even if it means it may hurt some feelings. But when did everyone else’s feelings begin to become more important than our own? Do we not also owe it to ourselves to practice kindness to our own feelings too? A saying that has always stuck with me- you can not pour from an empty cup, and no longer will I give so much of myself to constantly help others that it leaves me parched of my own needs too.
Sure, we may have invested decades into a particular friendship, or shared long-lasting and happy memories with a relative or family member, but if these relationships have turned toxic, we must recognize the tell-tale signs of when it becomes necessary to instill some distance between the bonds we once held so dear. It can hurt, immeasurably so, almost to the point that our tears would overflow a levy and the betrayal we feel can be an incredibly heavy burden to bear. But we can’t continue to allow these detrimental relationships to continuously bring us down to the point where we feel trapped in a vicious cycle of negativity and hindrance. If I hold onto a relationship just because of the time invested, but all they do is make me feel guilty for things in my life, try and pressure me into bad decisions or activities that they themselves partake in, or else spread nothing but toxicity and lies, then just like yesterday’s trash, they will get kicked to the curb. I do not need people around me that force me to constantly keep my head on a swivel, moving from side to side like the tick tocks on a clock. Loyalty does not mean a blind obedience to said person, and anyone who tries to get you to believe otherwise can go kick rocks.
I am incredibly fortunate to have people in my life who encourage me, support me, and bring me all the best that life has to give. They bring up the atmosphere in every single room they enter and lift me to be the best Sam that I can be. I’ve learned to let the naysayers and absolute hateful, spiteful, petty, and vindictive people who tried to associate with me fall off from my circle. There is no obligation in life requiring me to keep liars, toxic folk, and negative minds around me no matter what the relationship is or once was. It’s sad that others need to bring people down in order to feel better about themselves, but it has taught me many a valuable lesson in life. People hate on you for three reasons, either 1. they hate themselves 2. they want to be you or 3. they see you as a threat. No one talking badly about you is found better than you, and I encourage you to read that last sentence as many times as you need for it to stick. I remind myself often that it must be amazing to have that kind of free time to spend slandering other people and wishing for their downfall, because my schedule is chock full and stuffed to the brim with a variety of activities and obligations that need to be fulfilled in order for me to reach my goals and dreams. We get right or we get left, and those who stand with me will forever have my admiration and appreciation every single step of the way.
