I want everyone who is reading this right now to do me a favor and immediately stop feeling sorry for yourself. The pity party train ends right here, right now. The only thing wallowing in your own self loathing ever accomplished was crippling bouts of depression and feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied in your life’s journey. Stop gauging others to see how you measure up and start looking inwards for some self reflection and actualization and focus on personal improvement for your own benefit. I know this can be exceedingly difficult for those of us who place an exorbitant amount of pressure on us to succeed, but we must learn to treat ourselves kindly and with respect and allow our minds to process difficulties without critiquing our every move. It’s understandable to require some time to grieve the loss and process our thoughts and feelings, but we can’t let the despair consume every facet of our thoughts and cloud our minds with nothing but negativity. Everyone loses some time, in competition, at work, in training, at home, and in life etc,. but it is how we respond to those losses and even more importantly, how we rebound from them that counts.
It can be a difficult thing to try and process the feelings that we let people down. Especially if anyone set aside time from their own personal lives to be in attendance at one of our events or lend their support in any other way. And while sure, no one wins at life 100% of the time, but there are still those of us who put entirely way too much pressure on ourselves to succeed and should we fall short, it feels like a monumental disappointment of epic proportions. However, we can not take an excessive amount time from our daily duties to lament about all the travesties and failures we are suffering through. It may sound a bit harsh and like tough love to say it, but sometimes we need to just nut up and get going. Shake all that negativity off of our shoulders and go out there and get after it. Now, this doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to feel our emotions to their fullest extent, but at what point does it become too much? We shouldn’t feel bad about bouts of sadness after dealing with stressors, but after a good cry and some time to process our thoughts, we need to put in perspective what’s really important and what needs to be done. Everyone is out here dealing with stuff that can break even the strongest of men, and sometimes we need to let little hiccups along the way not deteriorate us whole.
Some of us need a little bit more help to process our thoughts, feelings, and emotions than others. Whether that requires medical intervention, cathartic releases like poetry or art, devoting yourself to exercise and healthy living, or even speaking with a professional on a biweekly basis. There is no “one-size-fits-all” version when it comes to how we cope, but nothing great was ever accomplished by moping around in our own misery and sadness. If we choose to only have a negative outlook on everything, we will never see the rainbows of fortune that present themselves in our lives. I try to start my mornings off everyday by allowing myself 15 minutes to stress about everything going on, and then not letting my mind wander towards that mindset the rest of the day. Then, immediately after, I recall a list of things I am grateful for so that I feel revitalized to begin my day. I do not want to ever be that person that no one wants to be around because I am just too negative. I also do not ever want to be that person that complains about every little thing in online rants and message boards and videos. Fun fact, we all have things we can constantly complain about, but I would much rather devote my time to something more fruitful.
This blog isn’t some Oprah Winfrey feel good fantasy land. It is a place I can express my innermost thoughts and regurgitate them directly onto my laptop. Truth is, I have people in my life who hold me in high regard, and it is one of the biggest motivators for the way I behave and react to certain situations. I want them to see me gracious in victory and humble in defeat. I want them to see me supporting those around me and being a positive influence on the people who’s lives I directly or even indirectly effect. I don’t want them to see me with a piss poor attitude and ugly outlook. I always want them to see me trying my best to be the bigger person and working hard to make something of myself. Giving up is not an option, and what a shame it would be to not keep going once the going gets tough. If I fall down 9 times (and I most definitely have) then I will stand up 10, and I will continue doing so despite the blood, sweat, tears, and heartbreak. As they say, for those I love, I will do great and terrible things and I will keep persevering every which way I can and I won’t ever be too proud to not ask for help when I need it.
In life, we will face arduous tasks and various journeys that we can not take on alone. It is important to surround ourselves with likeminded peers and a strong support system to rely on each other in times of need. Do not be that dark cloud always threatening rain on people’s sunny days. Control your weather and your climate and watch the sun rise above you another day. We truly have such little time to waste and it kills me when I see those I respect and those I care about not sucking the most they can out of life like some heathen who doesn’t know how to inhale all the meat off of a chicken wing. Gnaw on that poultry sucka, or you are gonna end up missing out on life’s deliciousness. Self pity is easily the most destructive of non-pharmaceutical narcotics. It is addictive, gives momentary pleasure, and most detrimental of all, it separates the victim from reality. Learn to forgive yourself for the lessons learned and focus your energy on thoughts that won’t waste your time. Your pain may be understandable, but your behavior doesn’t have to be unacceptable. You never know the depth of the people you influence, inspire, and encourage, and those of us who have a platform should always be held to a higher standard of action and behavior. If you always play the victim, you are a victim to your own reality. Do not become what has happened to you, but be what you choose to become.
