There is honestly such an abundance of negativity in the world and I simply refuse to be a part of it. Everywhere I turn there is someone being critical about what another individual is doing with their life, and all the ungrateful and unappreciative attitudes that go with it. We are all so consumed with the busy-ness and frivolity within our own lives, that we often times forget to acknowledge the little things people do for us, or even forgetting ourselves to check in on our friends and loved ones from time to time. It would be a regret of epic proportions to not take time out of our lives to check in on people before it is too late. An abundance of people suffer in silence, hiding behind masks of humor and uncertainty, never allowing themselves to truly feel the depths of their sadness or heartache, and burying the despair so deep within the depths of their soul, not even an expert excavator would be able to dig up those trenches. Life comes at us fast, and it would be a shame to let it pass us by without absorbing every facet of its marrow. I appreciate all the wonderful people that fulfill my life and if I am guilty of not expressing the lengths of my gratitude often enough, then I deeply apologize.
I was just telling someone I care immensely about the other day that even though I am an adult, I am not above admitting when I am wrong. If I mess-up in life or in my relationships, I am definitely man enough to step up and apologize for my wrong doings. I never want to make anyone feel inferior or unworthy in any scenario, and it would break my heart to know I was the cause of someone else’s suffering. However, even though I am an adult, I am still quite young and naive to a lot of life’s experiences. I have grown up a lot these past few years and gained quite a bit of responsibility, but I still fudge up and beat myself down when I get things wrong, which is quite often. I hate the fact that I’m human and tend to sometimes do or say the wrong things or make incorrect choices. I just hope that others can see how hard I try to rectify each situation and hope they know it all comes from a good place full of love and the aspirations that everything will work out in the end. Nothing worth having in this life will come easy, but dammit, if we all couldn’t use a break every now and then. Be kind to your fellow human, we are all dealing with situations and conflicts that can break even the most Hercules-esque type of person, but the simplest acts of nice gestures can mean the world to them.
All I want to do is continue to spread light and love to those around me. I hate seeing people I care about hurting or in pain, physically or emotionally, and I will gladly bear the burden of trying to brighten things up. I am exceptionally fortunate to have such a strong supporting extended family that really embodies the phrase “not all family is blood.” It makes me happy to support my friends in all aspects of their lives and all of their individual journeys. My partner is sponsoring an all-female super fight card next month and then we are hosting a women’s open mat at our gym simply because we want to help empower one another, especially women. Women grow up often being forced into competition with one another, from the early days on the playground to in the office in their careers. Well I will always be here to support my fellow woman and let them know there is room at the table for all of us. Even those that I fight, win or lose, I wish nothing but the best for them in their respective careers afterwards. It’s a job, nothing that should be taken too personal, but unfortunately we see this all too often where the animosity is built up and blown way out of proportion. I’m honestly just too busy dealing with things in my own life to worry too much about the vitriol others want to spew in my direction. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Being so exponentially busy is both a blessing and a curse. Much of the time, I am too consumed with the stress of trying to get everything I need to complete done and finished that I simply don’t have time to dwell on the bad. However, I am also so incredibly busy that I am constantly running from location to location, frantically trying to complete my list of tasks, all while simultaneously thinking about all of the things I still need to do. On top of that, I tend to overanalyze all the things I need to start helping other people, without first helping myself. I swear I am always trying to pour from an empty cup, which is why I retain so much difficulty trying to process everything until I run myself ragged as I become overwhelmed by the stress of it all. When I was pulling into the grocery store today, I overheard a kid around 10 years old telling his mom that he wished life wasn’t so hard. Same kid, same. But on the bright side, we all have the ability and potential to transform our lives into something great, and we should thank any person or obstacle trying to inhibit our growth because in the end, we only become stronger by pushing past those hurdles.
I love being busy, because boredom fosters complacency, which will inevitably become lazy habits that keep us from reaching our fullest potential. We have all been gifted just this one life on this earth, and it’s entirely too exhausting settle in our comfort zone and imagine “what ifs.” It is up to us to seize the moment and make the most out of what we have been dealt. I fight and compete so often as almost a distraction and a coping mechanism for life’s stressors. I need to stop equating my successes and my failures on the mats or in the cage with how I am doing in life, because that’s really not fair to my mental wellbeing. Whether others acknowledge it or not, I need to have faith in myself that I am doing the right things, and I know deep down that I am supported along the entire way. Life has a funny way of working out, and maybe, just maybe, I will learn to take some nice relaxing time for myself instead of running myself ragged hopping from activity to activity. I’m sure there are many likeminded people out there going through the same thing; busy working moms, career oriented women, an ambitious activist chasing their next goal etc. Chaos isn’t always the enemy, but if we learn to embrace it and grow from it, our expectations and dreams are limitless.
