The words and phrases we associate with marital bliss sound something like ‘”for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do we part.” But how many of us truly commit ourselves to a relationship in which this phrase rings true? How often do we see friends and loved ones settling for mediocrity? Don’t we all deserve to be truly, unequivocally happy in a relationship so devout with love? Now, in no way am I saying everyday will be blissful harmony void of any disagreement; that is simply unrealistic. I think it’s good to have healthy debate in a relationship. A good bulk of my relationship relies on lighthearted ribbing. As long as the joking is all done in good nature and never crosses a line, I 100% support laughing at our expense. Nothing would make me happier than seeing those I care about in the exact kind of loving and happy relationship that I have found for myself. Life is measured in moments; the significant and most meaningful memories we reflect upon in our life are what we correlate with strong emotion: happiness, sadness, love, pride, accomplishment, loss, laughter, and tears. The greatest feat of all is to be able to share those moments with someone who perfectly balances our soul in ways we did not even realize were only partially fulfilled.
If you would have told me years ago that I would fall in love with a man 17 years my senior I would have laughed in your face, especially when told he would have 2 teenage children. After all, it wasn’t so long ago I myself was at the age where I was navigating my way through high school halls, wondering how much time I had to complete an assignment or pick what I would wear for prom (and if you saw what I wore, it’s clear my decision making skills were not yet fully developed.) Yet here I am, a year and a half into us dating, still smitten with my bearded beast. Either his age has befuddled his mind, or he is irrevocably in love with me, because those are the only 2 reasons I can think of why he would put up with my crap. And I would not be exaggerating in the slightest to say I have probably put that man through more excrement than a bonobo chimp flinging his feces through his caged bars at the zookeeper. Yet I love him harder than one could ever imagine and I never question if those feelings are reciprocated.
Most recently, I had competed in a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu superfight that benefited the medical funds of our professor, Rubao Carioca, who had suffered a debilitating stroke last year. It was easily the most rewarding experience in my competitive career and I am beyond honored I was able to give back to a man who had given so much to this community and his students. Being that John is not only my boyfriend, but also my professor/instructor/coach, he would be the one on the sidelines coaching and advising me. What I didn’t physically see was when my name was announced to take the mats, John stood up and faced the crowd and cheered louder than anyone in attendance, including raising his hands in the air in order to hype up the match. What we do when those are looking at us determines our persona, what we do when we think no one is watching determines our character. I had actually no idea that this even took place until I saw this beautiful moment captured in photography by our friend Rachel Menezes. I have never been so touched to see such pride emulating from another person’s face. My man has my back, and is not only my #1 fan and supporter, but my rock to help push me to achieve way past my limits.
I hope he knows how proud of him I am. In fact, one of the greatest moments in my life was watching him win the Master’s World Championship at brown belt last year. This year, I unabashedly sobbed openly when he was awarded his black belt, a week after I had launched myself into his arms in the center of the octagon after he helped corner me to a unanimous decision victory (with the aid of my other 2 amazing cornermen, Neal Weaver and Daniel Triana.) To see what we have accomplished on our own is incredible, to be able to share in these successes together is indescribable. To know that no matter what happens in life, win or lose, fail or succeed, I have someone who will fight for me and cheer for me. He is the first person to step to the side and allow me to shine, even if it means he might get eclipsed in the shadows. And I will gladly step to the wayside to give him his moment in the sun as well. My life is all the better for him being in it and I hope he knows how happy he has made my world. Alone, I am resilient. Alone, I survived. Alone, I have risen. But together we thrive. Together, we are stronger. Together, we are seen. Together we will conquer. A King and his Queen
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