Don’t make the mistake of getting burned by the people you allow into your life only to be used, abused, and taken advantage of over and over again. A lot of times, they don’t even make an SPF strong enough for the ensuing raging inferno and damaging rays the people in your life can exude. Unfortunately, there are too many times we choose to give people the benefit of the doubt and do our best to constantly help others, only to end up in a situation that causes much more harm than good and ends up damaging us in the long run. I understand wanting to be an optimist and a good person and craving the wholesome happiness in the world that comes from doing good deeds, but truth of the matter is, some people don’t deserve a second chance. They’re like a cancer, infiltrating all your healthy cells and poisoning your body until there’s nothing good left. Instead of being left with a glorious bronzed tan, all we are doing is damaging our skin cells and leaving a blistering burn in its wake. Treatments such as aloe can help soothe the burn and alleviate some of the pain, but at this point in time the damage is already done and there’s not much we can do to help reverse all the negative side effects it caused and now must deal with the consequences and repercussions of our choices and actions.
So not only do UV burns speed up the process of aging, working yourself up into a frenzied stress always trying to help others and taking no time to take care of yourself will do that as well. The other day, I was so consumed with making sure everyone else was vigilant with protective sun screen, I neglected my own health and safety. I currently look like a neopolitan ice cream sundae; red, white, and caramel. I guess it’s important to take 5 minutes out of your day to make sure that you cater to your needs, but sometimes, I am so concerned with making sure those I love are well cared for instead. It could be worse. At least I sacrificed my comfort for those I care about and love and who appreciate me versus someone who would take advantage of my kindness and make me regret every taking time to help them. Now, think back in your life to a time where you tried to help someone and it blew up in your face. Guarantee about 90% of those reading this blog can reflect on a period they got (figuratively, not physically) burned and it caused them pain. The best people of the world will continue to try and help others despite how many hardships they face along the way, but man is it difficult. It’s much easier to become hardened and bitter from life’s choices and to choose to not sacrifice your own comfort for the sake of others ever again.
Why is it that some people will never appreciate all that you tried to do to help them? Are we so consumed with our own selfish desires and needs and wants of self preservation that we gloss over the appreciation when others have chosen to go out of their way to help? And man, does it hurt when you bust your ass and run yourself ragged to try and help others only to be burned by the pitfalls of destruction and chaos. It’s enough to make you want to build walls that even Donald Trump himself couldn’t tear down and never allow anyone inside ever again. If you mess with fire, you are inevitably going to get burned, and not even lidocaine infused aloe can soothe the pain. Yet I’m the type of person that will continue to ensure those around me are liberally applying protective amounts of sunscreen while being so incredibly busy worrying about others that yet again I forget to ensure that I am also well taken care of. Turns out I should have been burning bridges instead of myself. A bridge can be rebuilt stronger and with a much better route, but we can only heal so much before the damage becomes completely irreversible.
Maybe in the future, I’ll be more vigilant about taking certain precautions to safeguard myself, while still allowing my helping and giving nature to shine through. I don’t want the cruelness of the world to turn me into a bitter and emblazoned selfish prick, unwilling to lend a hand to those in need. Love thy neighbor, am I right? But perhaps I will also learn to love myself a little bit more too. After all, it’s time I start believing that I, too, am worthy of the multiple chances and safekeeping I tend to show for others. In a time in the world where everyone is so keen on jumping down one another’s throats like they’re a Ricola lozenge or something, under the false guise of aiding them in their current predicament, maybe we ease up a little bit. Help when necessary but don’t sacrifice your own wellbeing in the process. This is something I am slowly learning to become accustomed to rather than getting the brunt of the trauma my self-neglect tends to ensue. Meanwhile I’ll definitely learn my lesson after trying to grapple in a gi with every burnt layer of my epidermis screaming in protest. That mat and rough fabric exfoliation is not a pleasant feeling, let me tell you.
Moral of the story, flames, fire, shitty relationships, and exceptionally strong sunlight all will inevitably burn you, but there are preemptive measures we can take to help protect ourselves from the pain lack of preparation will cause. Flame retardant suits, topical creams, not turning a blind eye to toxic behavior, and lots of protective wear will all come in handy in the long run. It is much better and easier to be prepared than to have to try and figure out ways to take away the pain and sting later on. Same with relationships. We can embrace offering help to others while still ensuring we aren’t directly putting ourselves in harm’s way. I will say that I will definitely be more vigilant going forward in the ways that I put myself on the line and will always weigh the risk versus reward ratio when it comes to various aspects in my life. An ounce of preparation will continue to benefit us tenfold in the long run and I do not want to be in immeasurable pain just because I didn’t take the time to treat myself with as much care and respect that I have for others. From now on, the only burning I’ll endure is when it is beneficial, like warmth for example. After all, sometimes the best light comes from the bridges you burn. Be stronger than the fire that burns around you; the Khaleesi, the Unburnt. Learning everyday to be like water and go with the flow, but to also rage like fire and allow myself to grow anew from the ashes of past.
