In my opinion, complacency is the greatest disservice someone could do to themselves; never stepping out of their comfort zone because you are too accustomed with the familiarity. It can be scary venturing into unknown territory, because you have gotten so used to routines and patterns that throwing a wrench into your plans feels borderline chaotic. However, it needs to be understood that if you never push yourself, you’ll never grow, and sometimes you may even wither away and die. Not everyone is destined to push boundaries to the extreme, or take exponential risks, but we all deserve to try things we never even dreamed was possible. Sometimes this can be as simple as a different colored eyeliner to your makeup routine, or as drastic as applying for a job you hadn’t even thought you were capable of. Heck, I know countless people personally that went their whole lives not being an athlete, only to one day have the courage to sign up at a Jiu Jitsu gym let alone eventually compete in the sport. Their teenage selves would have found that notion to be unfathomable, yet here they are, doing things far out of their comfort zone and learning so much from it; many even becoming a better person because of it.
Just think of how many people you can think of off the top of your head that are in decently unhappy relationships, but choose to remain so because it is what they’re used to. It feels safe when things are familiar, but often times, familiarity breeds contempt when you become too complacent with your surroundings. Relationships void of passion, romantic love, and desire are not conducive to a person’s mental health. The majority of humans crave those types of interpersonal connections, and shouldn’t be meant to feel guilty for deviating from their spouse or partner. Even if they are still a good person, and friend, it is not a terrible thing to want more than that, and sometimes people just grow apart without either party having done something wrong. Holding on to that relationship because it is comfortable, or out of fear of being alone again or getting back out there is not a reason to stay. Again, resentment will only grow, fester, and increase until the day comes where you dread walking back into that door to face that person once again. With resentment comes anger and lashing out, hurtful words, and even depression.
I try to frequently step out of my comfort zone, and push my physical and mental limitations whenever I can. I wrote my whole life, but usually in a personal journal or secretly entering contests because I was exceptionally vulnerable on paper. It was the encouragement of my husband who had me break that barrier and start putting myself out there. I was also someone who was adamant that I would never get married, never date someone with kids, and never become a person so hopelessly in love that I would do anything for that one person. But I decided to take a chance, and even though every ounce of my being was telling me to say no when John asked me out the first time, I had a spur of the moment epiphany and said yes. Even if I did run away when he ambushed me with an ‘I love you’ for the first time, I called my brother out of sheer panic and he helped me realize that although this was new and scary, it was also very much true. I am so glad I took that chance.
Two of our students at Schell Shock BJJ are embarking on an incredible music journey. They are both some of the shyest and quietest teenage girls I have ever met, and some of the kindest as well. One day, they were talking about their music, and how they have formed a duo that sing, write, and play guitar together. Well, you could have about knocked me clear plum across the room when they played me a video. One of the girls was ripping on guitar and the other was singing with a voice as gorgeous and reminiscent as an Amy Winehouse/Janis Joplin hybrid. I mean, it was freaking incredible the talent, control, and beauty they possessed. Two old souls in those teenage shells. The song they wrote should be on every radio station in this country, it was just that good. And I was absolutely (Schell) shocked hearing it come from them. Never in a million years would I be able to perform on a stage in front of a bunch of people, and would never have guessed they’d be the ones to show the world what they got. Pushing past those boundaries.
If you’re looking for any sort of semblance of a sign to try something new, here it is. Live a little. Take a chance. I know it’s scary, I know it causes trepidation and anxiety, and I know you may worry about what’s ahead. But don’t you deserve to truly live life and be irrevocably and unequivocally happy? Sure, you may fail, but what if you don’t? Do you not owe it to yourself to try and get the most you can out of this life, and live it to its maximum happiness? Staying safe and comfortable inhibits people so much. Instead of viewing it as a safety net, view it as a straitjacket, restricting you and suffocating you from being free. Life is too short; be that person who takes their moment in the spotlight and embraces all of the things that life has to offer.
