Whoa, Black Betty, Bam-ba-lam

I swear, I remember my first day on the mats like it was yesterday. I had been an athlete my entire life, varsity sports throughout thee duration of high school, and almost continued my pursuit in sports into college. I had a few scholarships to continue playing soccer into my future studies, but I realized I did not want to be chained to a sport I no longer loved or even cared for. Soccer consumed much of my life to that point, and I already had 2 knee surgeries to show for it, and did not want to feel obligated to play it for 4 more years as I paid for my schooling, so I worked relentlessly to earn a scholarship another way to afford tuition. The second I graduated, I packed up and moved and threw on a gi 3 days later for my very first class. One of my triplet brothers had begun training Jiu jitsu about 1 1/2 years prior (he received his black belt about 8 months before I did, with some time off here and there), and I was incredibly jealous. He knew how much I loved the sport of fighting and would always talk about wanting to do that one day. Before class, I asked my brother how long it takes to achieve the rank of black belt, and he told me it was an average of 10 years if one trained consistently, approximately 4x a week. He said it rarely took less and many times took more when people would take breaks due to injuries, family stuff, life etc. I remember thinking I would set that 10 year goal for myself, no problem. By the end of that first class, I remember thinking JK, this is way harder than I thought, see y’all in 20 years.

So I jumped right into it. Finally earned that hard sought after first stripe and signed up for my first competition. Went 50/50 on the day and caught the competition bug. After about 15 months, my school was having its first big promotion ceremony. I had a feeling I may be getting promoted to blue belt. My boyfriend at the time was pissed about coming along, since I cut into his sleeping until 2 pm plans. While I was currently experiencing one of the happiest moments of my life earning that new rank, he was angrily napping in the car, dampening, but not dulling the entire experience. Still, I persevered, taking and winning a couple amateur fights and entering quite a few local Jiu Jitsu competitions. Almost 3 years passed by of training 6-7x a week, many times 2-3x per day, I was so eagerly anticipating that purple belt. My first mistake; having expectations. I saw others being promoted with a fraction of the amount of training time, and it hurt to not feel like I was getting equal recognition. I was seemingly the only person from my academy competing, and doing quite well, only to have had 4 stripes on my frayed and tattered blue belt for a full year. My second mistake was focusing on anyone else’s journey outside of my own. After all, comparison is the thief of all joy.

I had also suffered a catastrophic knee injury at that time, completely rupturing my ACL and fracturing my kneecap along with 3 other ligaments. But I rehabilitated, kept showing up even when it was just to take notes or to drill, and my resiliency prevailed. I ended a toxic relationship, and found myself lovingly in the arms of a great man, one whom I met when Royce Gracie paired us up at one of his seminars. He just so happened to come to my gym to cross train on the very night my previous coach had decided to award me my purple belt. A short while after, I made the decision to switch to my (boyfriend at the time)’s gym because I wanted to compete at IBJJF tournaments and needed to be under an affiliated school in order to do so. This began my journey competing at all of the major competitions as well as continuing my fight journey with MMA and trying to get on as many Jiu Jitsu superfight cards as possible. I am so grateful for the first gym for opening the world of Jiu Jitsu and MMA up to me, and allowing me to continue my thirst for knowledge and insatiable competitive appetite elsewhere. Purple belt adult saw me competing against some of the best in the world, who now hold high esteem at black belt all across the competition realm. It was such a love/hate relationship but overall my favorite belt where I learned so much and had incredible growth and countless competitions.

After 3 years at purple belt, I was awarded my brown belt; the first belt presented to me by the person I had now been with in a relationship for over 3 years, whom was also my Domestic Partner, aka my DP. It meant a lot to me, and a few tears were definitely shed. I had a bit of a tumultuous start, but then won back to back MMA championships, got engaged to the love of my life, then married, dealt with the setbacks from everything being shutdown from COVID, and learned who was really in my corner. I followed up a great run at purple belt by earning my place on the podium at all the major IBJJF competitions, despite some nefarious refereeing along the way. Despite injuries, grievances, tough times, devastating losses, triumphant wins, moral blows, and all of the turmoil that comes with life’s ups and downs, I persevered. I kept competing in order to improve and stayed consistent with the amount of training I was putting in, many times multiple times per day. Brown belt was when I really began to feel comfortable with my teaching and the approach I had to instruction and developing lesson plans. I also began getting more involved in women’s jiu jitsu events and Open Mats and even teaching some seminars of my very own. I owe a lot to this belt for helping develop my mind and character as a Jiu Jitsu athlete and I am always eager to learn.

Yet again, more than 3 years passed and I finally earned my black belt promotion. The first under my new last name from my now husband, and my Team Rubao Carioca’s first female black belt (and I can say happily not even remotely close to the last, as a lengthy stream of women will be following swiftly behind me). Of course I cried tears of jubilant joy, as this day meant so much to me. And as much as this meant to me and how happy I was, I can honestly say marrying the man of my dreams trumps this feeling by a landslide; my god, is love beautiful. It still feels surreal to have reached this pinnacle of time. This is how I described it in my posts on social media: 10 years. Competed at every belt level, from local tournaments to the majors. Podiumed at No Gi Pans, Pans, Master’s Worlds, and many gold at various Opens. Countless super fights and tournaments. 12 amateur fights. 4 professional fights. 1 extreme weight cut to win a fight on national tv. Title belts and accolades won. Meeting my soulmate at a Royce Gracie seminar. Marrying my best friend. Dozens of seminars attended and some even taught. Devastating losses. Incredible wins. The highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. Multiple knee surgeries, bone breaks, ligaments torn, joints sprained, black eyes, fat lips, blood spilled, and tears cried. From feeling like I was wasting everyone’s time as “the rest round” to now instructing at the gym I help run, with my name even on the door. Tapping, submitting, and rolling again. Lots of teaching and coaching and most importantly, always learning. Forging immeasurably important friendships along the way. Dreaming of this day from the very beginning, and yet, simultaneously feeling like I’d never reach this goal. But I am here, on one of the best days of my life, to feel accomplished that I finally did it. And now my journey is truly just beginning.