Shoot Your Shot

It goes without saying that the more days you have on this earth, the more hard days and bad days that inevitably arrive at your doorstep. But this also means the more wonderfully great days you will have as well. It is simply the law of averages. The conflict therein lies with understanding that no matter how dark and gloomy the storms are, fueled by dangerous circumstances and catastrophic damage, there is a beautiful sunny day waiting just beyond the horizon. It is always darkest before the dawn, and it may feel like to us, that it will remain dark infinitely, but that is only our eyes being too focused on the current state of predicaments instead of understanding what is to follow. The world is not shrouded in darkness permanently, but as long as the earth continues to revolve around the sun, we will see another worthwhile sunrise, radiant light, and a beautifully dispositioned day yet again. Often times, we bear the burden of responsibility when it comes to taking the chance at a certain opportunity in order to ascertain a level of happiness or success or fulfillment. But oh, how scary and intimidating it can be to be able to gather the courage and strength to take that leap of faith and figuratively “shoot your shot.”

I’ve taken a lot of risks and a lot of chances in my life. Some have proved to be very fruitful and beneficial in their endeavors, while others have fallen woefully short and have lead to nothing but disappointment and failure. The ones that have paid off in dividends however, have made the hard pills much easier to swallow. The wins and successes would not feel as exhilaratingly joyous if it weren’t for the virulent experiences of the downsides that come with living life. As much as it pains us and hurts us in the moment, with the passage of time, the pain stings less and the wounds begin to suture and heal. I say this in this blog, but yet, I am prolonging this particular piece of writing because of unfortunate circumstances currently paining my heart and weighing heavily on my mind. I want to relent to my tears, but I know this wouldn’t solve the current predicament I am facing, and I remind myself that as much as it hurts, the things that are truly important are still in tact, despite the sadness I find myself in this moment.

So, I choose to fight. Not just in a cage or on the mats, but daily in my life. I fight for my voice to be heard, for changes to be made, to dare to put myself in difficult and uncomfortable situations in order to help others and do what is right, to force myself to confront my fears and the trepidations in my mind to be better than the things that happen to me. Dumbledore said it best when he proclaimed that eventually we must all face the choice between doing what is right and what is easy. It is easy to accept defeat in things and life, to throw in the towel and succumb to the choice to quit and give up. It is much harder to continue to push forth and persevere, when the odds are stacked against you, your body is protesting in agony, your mind is riddled with every excuse to not continue, and you know how much simpler life would be if it all just stopped. But I will not go gentle into that good night, and I will adhere to Dylan Thomas and rage against the dying of the light. They will have to drag me kicking and screaming before I give up, and I will continue to release my tears in private and scream my truths out in public.

Continue to weigh the pros and cons of all of the risks you choose to take. Sure, you may fail, but oh, dear friend, what if you don’t? Not only to succeed, but exceptionally thrive. Or even to leave a lasting imprint on the life of someone else? The most selfless of humans plant the seeds to the trees of who’s shade they will never get to relish in and enjoy. They have altered the future for someone else to reap the benefits and rewards of something so pure, and one simple feat such as that means their existence won’t be for naught. A true butterfly effect, where no matter how small and insignificant the action you choose to take is, it may have a rippling effect to cause impact or change. There are days where I feel like nothing I do matters, but sometimes just extending a warm and welcoming hand to the new girl trying out the Jiu Jitsu mats that evening is all it takes. Maybe she will go on to win a world championship one day. Or maybe this will give her the strength and confidence to be able to leave a not-so great situation in her work or home life. Or maybe it is even enough to turn her copious amount of tears into new smiles. We will never know unless we take that leap of faith, extend our kindness, take a chance, and shoot our shot.

This week has been hard, and I am choosing to focus on the overwhelming amount of positive interactions I have had with people. Perhaps the universe knows how much I truly need it right now, but for some reason this particular week has been flooded with people saying the most heartfelt and wholesome words to me that are truly touching my heart. So the world may try to beat me down, and it seems to be doing a pretty good job at it lately, but there are wonderful people in my life who excel at lifting me up. To say I am humbled by some of the things said to me this week is a vast understatement. Whatever continues to happen to me or around me won’t deter me from doing my best to make sure I continue to do good and do what is right, no matter how hard it may be. I wasn’t born to sit on the sidelines and watch others take up the charge for me. I was meant to go out with my shield or die on it, and yes, that may mean taking some risks and making hard choices. But I fear no outcome when I know what is the right choice. I can always live with myself by not harboring any shame or guilt by letting my cowardice make the choice for me. Because I continue to always shoot my shot, I know some people will end up loathing and detesting me. But I also know I will help so many others, and that really makes my life beyond worth living.