The stockings are hung, the presents are wrapped, the tree is decorated, and the Jameson has been opened. From the outside looking in, my house now resembles the ideal pinterest image, but if people only knew the truth lurking just below the surface, instead of sugar plum fairies dancing in my head, I am personally imagining myself throttling the throats of every single one of Santa’s little elves. Have I mentioned that I am not quite adept at handling stress all that well? I think my resolution for the year 2019 should be to take a little bit more “me” time and just breathe and relax a little. Because right now my ways of unwinding include bleaching the bathroom and organizing my spice rack alphabetically; probably not a normal person’s idea of relaxation but it soothes my anxiety. While my counterpart is recuperating on the couch from an ACL reconstructive surgery, I’m trying (and failing) to take care of everything on my own. Perhaps it is my on independent stubborn streak or else my lingering stupidity that won’t allow me to ask for help, but I know I can do it; I just need to find better methods of coping.
I wrote out a schedule for him on what times and how often to do his rehabilitative exercises and when to take his medication. I would have much preferred detailing it in an excel spreadsheet but alas, I did not have immediate access to a printer. I also color coded the kid’s schedules so I would know when and where I would be taking them and picking them up as well as helping to run classes at the gym and organize whatever needed to be done in his absence. I also managed to get all the holiday shopping done, complete the wrapping of all gifts, purchase all clothing needed for an upcoming wedding, and start my camp for my impending title fight. It’s no wonder I caught myself singing “it’s beginning to look a lot like ‘fuck this'” under my breath while scrubbing the toilets today. Yet, I am so grateful for this life I have been given and recognize how privileged I am to be able to live it.
The holidays are always a hectic time of year, especially for the parents out there. They work so hard to give their children an amazing Christmas and their offspring won’t ever truly understand the sacrifices that are made until they are much older. Cheers to the moms (and dads) out there braving the mall crowds to purchase all the gifts, getting their kids dressed up for the school’s allotted “spirit” days at the craziest time of year, and stuffing their own stockings so it has more than just air inside. They are the true Santa’s walking around. It’s times like these that I’m beginning to think that Hermey the elf had the right idea of dreaming to enter the dentistry field rather than the holiday toy making one. Makes me really appreciate my career path in causing pain (only to willing participants of course). I probably sound like such a high strung Type A person to anyone reading this, but funnel some eggnog through my veins and my fun factor dramatically increases, I promise.
My resolution for 2019 will be to focus more on some self care, especially when it comes to sleeping better as I seemed to make resembling a raccoon with my dark eye circles a fashion trend this year. It will be a year full of championships (as long as my impending title fight doesn’t get canceled for the 4th time), and most importantly, a year full of love with all my favorite people. I competed a total of 21 times in MMA, BJJ, and superfights this year and I am hoping to increase those numbers moving forward. I would also like to do better at not allowing myself to be consumed with stress and become overwhelmed. As much as I try to pretend I’m a superhero, I need to remember I’m only human and it’s okay to say no to things.I think learning to say ‘no’ is a valuable trait many of us can adopt. After all, if we continue to give so much of ourselves, we won’t have anything left and that’s not fair to us or those around us. If i continue this path, I’m just going to end up driving John insane because it’s not like he can just get up and walk away when I annoy him (I promise this wasn’t my plan overall ha). I swear I can not wait for him to get better so we can enjoy a relaxing date night and also, because as much as I hate to admit it, I kind of miss getting beat up by him on a daily basis. And they say romance is dead.
Cheers to leaving stress and injuries in 2018 and having 2019 be our best year yet! I’m hoping Santa gives me the gift of patience so I can learn better methods of de-stressing and can be a happier and more stable Sam. I may never stop obsessively organizing things, but I can at least not freak out when someone puts the turmeric where the nutmeg should be and messes up my arrangement of seasonings. Maybe next Christmas I won’t adorn every gift under the tree with a precarious little bow and stack them in an organized tetris style arrangement. They just get torn open anyways and it’s not like my Christmas display will be televised on the Hallmark channel. Perhaps less home network Martha Stewart and more felony criminal Martha Stewart? If my family is reading this, I’m sorry for being such a Scrooge and taking a metaphorical yule log on the Christmas spirit with my meticulous planning. If John is reading this, I promise to be kinder to him as he heals and put the ‘ho’ back in ‘ho ho ho.’ (Who thought it was a good idea to give me a platform to air out my thoughts, honestly?)
I really am so appreciative of all of you, from my teammates, my friends at other gyms, my opponents willing to throw down with me, my coaches that help to catapult my abilities, and most importantly, my Schell familia that love me and accept me, even when I’m positively at my most unloveable. I can’t wait to see all their faces when they unwrap their gifts because I love picking out thoughtful presents for people and really surprising them but I think I’m most looking forward to making hot cocoa and sitting by the fire in my onesie surrounded by the people I love most in the world. They have given me so much these past couple of years and I hope they feel the love from me year round and not just on Christmas. I hope all of you out there have the happiest of holidays and I want you to know that you are more than welcome at our home if you are going to be spending the holidays alone. You can even help me sponge bathe ol’ Yukon Cornelius! (Geez, I am 100% going to get choked once John is allowed back on the mats. Eh, worth it). Happy Holidays everyone! Go out there and sleigh (ha, get it?) 2019!
