You never know who is watching you; how your thoughts and actions are impacting others until you see it come to fruition. The more I put myself out there, the more vulnerable I become but the more raw and relatable I seem. With as often as I compete and my presence on social media, I need to realize the wider the audience at my disposal. And that’s a scary thought. Like a goldfish in a tiny tank, I have eyes on me, and the larger the crowd, the more pressure I put on myself to not only avoid failure, but to achieve great things. One of the biggest reasons I have for conducting myself the way I do is because of the kids in my life. Not just the ones in my family, who I love an excessive amount that I am sure everyone is sick of hearing about already, but the ones at our gym whom I help instruct every day. Our Professor always says that the attitudes and behaviors from the top trickle down. Am I acting in a way that I would be proud to have the next generation emulate? Or am I letting trivial bullshit cloud my mind?
Coaching kids in Jiu Jitsu is by no means easy. It’s frustrating, stressful, and immensely hard work, but the benefits it reaps are so incredibly rewarding that it makes it all worthwhile. I often wonder if any parents out there raising their children lay awake at night wondering if they’re cultivating a good person; someone who is wise and pure at heart and will be an asset to society, or if they stress over minute decisions and the lac of clarity when it comes to being sure that everything you’re doing is correct. To not only want them to succeed in this world, but to also posses the desire to change it. I hope to lead by example but I ways wonder if I am making the right choices. As adults, we are under the false misconception that we should have the world figured out. Turns out we’re all just running around winging it and hoping that no one calls us out on our ineptitude. But the children look to us like leaders, because that’s all they know. They do not care that taxes still confuse us or balancing a checkbook is a daunting task, they only care about our love and guidance. They trust us to make the right decisions and instruct them correctly, and although I mean all of this in reference to BJJ, it is applicable in other facets of life as well.
I watch my Professor step on the mats, or enter a room, and people gaze at him with a revered respect that I can not even begin to express how much I admire. Adults and children alike look to him as a leader as his aura projects such powerful yet approachable authority that it is easy to listen to him and follow his instructions. I’m hoping every day that some of that demeanor has rubbed off on me (though it’s probably cheating since, spoiler alert, we share a bed and more than demeanor gets rubbed off if you catch my drift) and beam with pride at the growth of all of our students. As prolific as I have become with writing, I wish I could put into words the warm feeling enveloping my soul when I see the children looking to me for guidance, hanging on my every word and executing their endeavors. Giving back what I myself have learned is the greatest gift I can both give and receive. Children are influenced by our words, actions, and behaviors more than I think we even realize, and I just hope that I am imparting something useful.
I think one of, if not the hardest lesson I have learned when it comes to kids, is that you can’t protect them from everything. Sometimes you need to let them figure things out on their own and fend for themselves in order to grow. They will make mistakes and they will learn some things the hard way and tears will pour almost ceaselessly from their eyes. All we can do is guide them and provide them with the right tools to dig themselves out of difficult situations and know they will be all the much more stronger for what they have endured. Still, it’s like a dagger through the heart when I see the kids I care about suffering any sort of emotional grievance. For this reason, I believe BJJ is immeasurably crucial to the development of children. It teaches us how to lose and deal with defeat, it instills in us a work ethic, it ;cultivates a mindset in our youth that hard work pays off, we learn to grow as a team and to respect our leadership while also thinking for ourselves. We learn to be selfless but to also want to be great, and it’s a balance that I believe will breed functionally capable and prosperous adults.
Teaching the kids at our academy has forced a perspective on me that I may have never reached on my own. When I speak, I speak with purpose. Is what I say true? Is it kind? I it educational? And is it necessary? I hold myself to a higher standard because I realize the significant role I play in their development. It’s a domino effect and I am beyond proud of the lion cubs we have representing the gym. The way they cheer for each other in competition brings tears to my eyes because of the compassion they exude. No one is born with hate in their hearts, and the way the older students and more seasoned students stop to help the younger ones or the newer ones is truly astounding and a moment of pride. While it may be true that those kids look up to me and respect me as a coach, I respect them equally as well. They have earned it and they deserve it. Don’t let a bitter adult gloss over a child because they are still real people and their thoughts and feelings matter. The children of today will become the leaders of tomorrow and I will work hard to ensure I am providing the effort of an exemplary coach, athlete, competitor, teammate, and fighter. Children are some of the most excellent imitators in existence, so I might as well provide them with something worth imitating.
